Dear readers, we are excited and proud to host tonight a character out of one of fantasy’s longest running series! He is a wizard, an assassin, a crime baron, and a foreigner. He climbed his way to the top against all odds, in a society controlled by a different race. We wanted to speak with him since we first read his books. Please welcome Vlad Taltos!
Tell us a little about where you grew up. What was it like there?
I grew up in South Adrilankha, the Easterner’s district. What was it like? It stank, that’s what it was like. You had the slaughterhouses on one side, dead fish smells from the other. You could sometimes find a witch to help you out when you got sick. Sometimes you couldn’t. Then we moved across the River. That stank too, only in different ways. Not so much in the nose, except when you got punched there. It stank because I was short and weaker than everyone else, and some of them didn’t like Easterners much. You could always find a sorcerer to help you when you were sick, but you couldn’t afford to pay him. It sucked, okay? Can we talk about something else?
Did you have any favourite toys as a child? Any cherished memories?
My favorite toy was a lepip, which is a piece of iron, usually about as long as my arm from shoulder to wrist, with some leather wrapped around it to reduce bleeding. My most cherished memory is using it on some asshole of the House of the Orca who was expecting me to just, I don’t know, stand there and get hit. Those guys aren’t too bright. But they make these great sounds when you smack them really hard in the kneecap. Ever done it? Try it. If it goes well, come and see me, I might have some work for you. If it doesn’t go well, that’s your problem.
What do you do now?
There are people trying to kill me. I thwart them. I also travel a lot. Sometimes I meet bandits, highwaymen, you know? When I do, I rob them. It’s a living.
What can you tell us about your latest adventure?
Adventure? You call it an adventure? I call it people trying to kill me. Maybe that’s an adventure for you, but–okay, let me explain. When there’s this vast criminal organization that hates you because you didn’t quite play by their rules, and they want to stick a weapon into you that destroys your soul, that’s not an adventure, that’s just scary. So, anyway, I thought up a way to maybe get myself out of that uncomfortable situation. See, I had a plan… Continue reading “Vladimir Taltos (of Jhereg series, by Steven Brust)”