Dear readers, tonight with me is a young millennial homicide detective.
While it may seem that this small-town, hashtag-speaking, police offer is too young for it, she had the (mis-)fortune of dealing with some scary serial killers.
She is here to tell about what is now known as the Chesapeake Tugboat Murders.
Tell us little about where you grew up. What was it like there?
The name’s Paco. Sergeant Lisa Paco. I’m a detective on the River Glen Police Department, the best PD in the best village in America. Yeah, yeah, I know I look like a sixteen-year-old, but here, if you don’t believe me, check my police ID. See, right there. My DOB. I’m almost thirty. I was born and raised here in River Glen on the Chesapeake Bay … on the Maryland part of the bay, not the Virginia part. So we don’t have those stinging sea nettles like the Virginians in the southern bay. And if some joker tells you that Virginia blue crabs taste better than Maryland crabs, well, he’s just plain delusional. Okay, back to River Glen. We have a population 89. We have a psychic, Cannabis farmers, burnouts from the 60s, moon-shiners, artists, crabbers, and fishermen … all the usual suspects. Oh, we also have pyrates. Yeah, yeah, you’re laughing like you don’t believe me. But I promise, it’s true. We have pyrates. Really! Real-life modern pyrates. Yep, River Glen was founded by pyrates from the pyrate ship Raven. Every summer we have the annual pyrate festival, Giles Blood-hand Day. It commemorates Giles Hale’s slaughter of the deranged Whitby family who stole gold from the village treasury in 1694. He’s a local hero for returning the treasure. The festival’s wilder than a Jimmy Buffett- or Grateful Dead concert. It’s crazier than Burning Man.
So here’s how we got pyrates. In the late 1600s the Raven was hiding out in today’s Tampa Bay to avoid a hurricane. After the storm, a Spanish treasure galleon appeared off the coast. While the crippled galleon was mending her masts, the Raven attacked. Guns blazing, the Raven’s crew killed the Spaniards, stole the treasure, and made a runner up the eastern seaboard, but not before abducting women prisoners working on a Virginia tobacco plantation. The Raven slipped behind colonial defenses at the mouth of the Chesapeake and found a remote river to make repairs. Her hull was rotten with shipworms; the planks crumbled to the touch. The pyrates and their ladies were stranded on the upper Chesapeake. So that’s the origins of the tiny village of River Glen. But what … I ask you … happened to the Raven’s fathomless treasure? Continue reading “Detective Lisa Paco (of Vital Spark by Leah Devlin)”