Dear readers, tonight with us is the chief thief-catcher for the emperor, and his second in command — a rather mischievous sprite. They’re here to talk about their quirky magical mystery adventures.
Tell us a little about where you grew up. What was it like there?
Ned: I grew up in Fidelia with my parents and brother. It’s a coast town like many others I guess except…
Jenni: Yor Dad was ‘ead of T.A.R.T.S and yor bruvver took over and made it even more evil. Only ‘e ain’t yor bruvver or yor Dad.
Ned: Yeah, just found that out. A lot to take in.
Jenni: Specially as you killed yor bruvver. It were self-defence though, Boss.
Jenni: Whereas me, I’m a fae ain’t I, so I was born in the grove. Me mum is Momma K, you’ve ‘eard of ‘er. Queen of the Fae and that. Me dad I just met so I can’t really say much.
Ned: He’s no pillar of society though, is he?
Jenni: Nah. S’good job we got each uvver in Roshaven, eh?
Did you have any favourite toys as a child? Any cherished memories?
Ned: Just the usual really, wooden swords and toy bows and arrows. That sort of stuff.
Jenni: Yeah but you grew up in a big ‘ouse though, didn’t you? Wiv servants and stuff. You got taught to fence and ride and all that malark. S’not wot people get usually, Boss.
Ned: I left all that behind when I moved away from Fidelia and came here to Roshaven. Started afresh.
Jenni: True. Now you got a real sword. I never ‘ad a sword or nuffink like that. Didn’t need it being fae. Just snap me fingers and I’d get wotever I wanted. Corse that all changed when I ‘ad me coming of age ceremony and then there were the whole fing wiv the Source but I don’t fink we can talk about that, can we?
Ned: Not yet, Jenni. The book came out on 12th November, but we don’t want to spoil it for the readers.
Jenni: Right, right. I wos a ‘appy kid though. Always in everyfink, you know wot it’s like. Fun times.
What do you do now?
Ned: I’m Chief Thief-Catcher here in Roshaven. It’s my job to run the team and keep the empire safe from the criminal element.
Jenni: And I’m ‘is right ‘and fae.
Ned: That’s right, Jenni is my second in command. We also have Willow, a tree nymph, Joe, a regular human and Sparks, a firefly. We are actually looking for new recruits so if you think you’ve got what it takes to keep the streets of Roshaven safe then do pop in to Headquarters for a chat.
Jenni: And don’t go to the old ones on Justice ‘Eights. We ain’t there no more. Not after it got burnt down again again. We’re in The Noose, on the corner of the Black Narrows. Can’t miss us. Curry Night special on Thursdays.
Ned: We both joined the Catchers at the same time. It’s a funny story actually, involving a potato…
Jenni: Yeah, but we can’t talk about that eivver, Boss. It’s coming up, innit. When she wot does the writing sorts out the Case Files.
Ned: Yes, that’s right. There will be more Case Files coming your way, detailing some of our more interesting cases.
Jenni: Like the runaway cheese. And the Tea Cake Alley riots.
Ned: Best not to say too much more.
Jenni: Rightchoo are, Boss. ‘Ere, did you always wanna be a catcher? I tried a few fings first afore I knew. Didn’t get on wiv any of ‘em. And I definitely ain’t gonna be the next Queen of the Fae. No fank you!
Ned: I knew I wanted to do something in the opposite direction to my family.
Jenni: Them’s being thieves and vagabonds and evil and wotnot.
Ned: Erm, yeah. And I saw a notice in The Daily Blag about recruitment for the Catchers so I thought I’d go along. That was when…
Jenni: Boss! We can’t tell ‘em, remember? They gotta wait for the Case File to find out wot ‘appened.
Ned: Yes, sorry.Continue reading “Ned Spinks, Chief Thief-Catcher and Jenni the sprite (of The Roshaven Series / The Bone Thief, by Claire Buss)”