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The Protagonist Speaks

Interviews with the characters of your favourite books

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Urban Fantasy

Pawlina Katczynski, aka “Pawly” (of Werecats Emergent, by Mark Engels )

Dear readers, tonight with us is a young woman, scion of an ancient clan of werecats. She is here to tell us about the challenges of discovering your family’s dark secrets and battling lethal urges, while trying to finish high-school.

Tell us a little about where you grew up. What was it like there?

My brother Tommy and I lived in Norfolk, Virginia most of our time growing up. Our dad was a Navy SEAL, so we were your garden-variety Navy brats. Around major holidays while Dad was off on deployment, our mom would take us on a bus to D.C. and then a train to Chicago where our folks were both from. There we’d spend time together with our grandparents and aunts and uncles. At the time our extended family all lived together in the same building, so it was like a big family reunion whenever we’d show up. We’d been on ice skates from nearly the time we could walk, so we’d bring our hockey gear along and play pick-up games with the kids from a Chicago neighborhood league our aunt and uncle coached. The tricks we learned there made us high school hockey superstars back in Norfolk!

Did you have any favourite toys as a child? Any cherished memories?

Our great grandfather, a retired Coast Guard commandant, had bought a decommissioned light keeper’s cottage situated on a small, remote wooded island in Lake Michigan near Wisconsin’s Door Peninsula. He fixed it up for his family to use a summer cabin, and my brother and I continued that tradition for much of our summers. With our dad gone so much, Tommy and I spent far more time at the cabin every summer than we did in either Chicago or Norfolk. We’d wander around all day, every day, building forts and playing hide n’ seek and combing the beaches looking out for treasure washed up from centuries of shipwrecks.

What do you do now?

Tommy and I are both trying to finish out our senior year at a new high school. It’s been, well, a challenge…

What can you tell us about your latest adventure?

Let’s just say neither of us had any idea just what it meant to be Growing Up Werecat. Not until I first morphed last Halloween, the night before our big game at the invitationals last fall in Green Bay.

Continue reading “Pawlina Katczynski, aka “Pawly” (of Werecats Emergent, by Mark Engels )” →
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Amber Yu (of The Bonehead Resistance, by Narelle King)

Dear readers, tonight with us is an ordinary Australian citizen who found herself embroiled in extraordinary events. After her son is taken hostage, she must race from leafy suburbs to the dusty outback, confronting merciless soldiers and terrifying monsters.

Tell us a little about where you grew up. What was it like there?

I grew up in north-west Sydney. My parents have lived in the same small brick house in Eastwood since they immigrated from China, a couple of years before I was born.

They had this great backyard full of fruit trees. I used to climb the trees and make myself sick eating the fruit. My mother was always tearing her hair out trying to get me to do homework, but I just wanted to be outside.

A few years ago they sold half the backyard to a developer who owned a couple of properties next door. He whacked an apartment tower on them, so now they only have a small vege patch, and nothing grows well because it’s always shaded.

Did you have any favourite toys as a child? Any treasured memories?

I spent hours jumping on our trampoline. This was in the 90s, so there was no padding or safety nets or anything, if you weren’t careful you’d land on the springs or the metal bars. One of my cousins fractured her leg falling off it.

When I was a teenager my friends and I would lie on it and talk for hours.

What did you think when you saw the Boneheads for the first time?

I was in shock. Just that morning Adam and I had been laughing at the rumours about the PM working with monsters. We thought it was a joke.

And the Boneheads were terrifying. Those black pits they have for eyes – they’re like something out of a nightmare. I watched them gun people down in the street. I’ve seen a lot of death since then, but I don’t think I’ll ever stop having nightmares about that.

Continue reading “Amber Yu (of The Bonehead Resistance, by Narelle King)” →
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The Huay Chivo (of The Blood Moon Feeds on My Dreams, by Douglas Lumsden)

With me in the studio today is the creature known as the Huay Chivo, who has through sorcerous means traveled here from the Realm of Tolanica in a nearby parallel world.

Welcome, Mr. Chivo.

Thank you. And, please, call me Chivo.

Certainly, Chivo. My first question to you is a little delicate. At the risk of being rude…

You wish to discuss my appearance, right?

Well, if you don’t mind…

It’s not a problem. As you can see, I resemble a goat with ram’s horns, a row of spikes down my back, glowing red eyes, human-like hands and feet, and a long, bare rat-like tail.

And some rather impressive pointed teeth!

Yes, quite handy when you’re a carnivore. And, to anticipate your next question, no, I wasn’t born in this form. Underneath all this, I am as human as you are, though with considerably more skill manipulating supernatural energies.

You mean magic?

That’s as good a word as any, I suppose. Many centuries ago, I was the most powerful sorcerer in the region of Cutzyetelkeh, roughly the equivalent of the Yucatan Peninsula in your world. Back then I was known as Lord Cadmael, and I ruled a large and sophisticated kingdom. Then the Dragon Lords emerged from a parallel world called Hell and conquered the entire planet. I successfully resisted two of the dragons—Ketz-Alkwat and Manqu—for decades, but eventually I was overcome. Or so they tell me. My memories of the end of my kingdom and the years that came after are vague. I’m dimly aware of wandering for centuries in my current form, mindlessly hunting and surviving. That’s when they began calling me the Huay Chivo: the Goat Sorcerer.

I was warned that I should avoid the lethal gaze of your glowing eyes.

[chuckling] That’s a bit dramatic. When I’m hunting, I bring down my prey by meeting their eyes with my own. My ‘lethal gaze,’ as you put it, causes extreme nausea, and when my prey is helpless—I strike! I developed this spell when I still maintained a human form. It was an entertaining way to intimidate anyone foolish enough to oppose my leadership.

I see…. Chivo, you say you wandered mindlessly for centuries. That obviously changed. What happened?

I’d reached a very low point in my life. I wandered into an urban metropolis called Yerba City on the tip of a peninsula. Geographically, it’s the equivalent of a place in your world called San Francisco, and there are some similarities. Unfortunately, the urban environment was not suitable for me in my bestial state. Also, I came to the attention of certain agencies of the government that wanted to capture me for the Dragon Lord. I wandered through alleys, eating whatever game I could find: dogs, cats, racoons, amikuks…

Amikuks?

Nasty little critters that swim through the earth. Maybe you have a different name for them. Anyway, I was searching for a meal early one morning when I ran into a strong-willed gentleman named Southerland who was able to resist my nausea spell. I was impressed, and I decided to move into his abode, in part to keep myself from the prying eyes of the Dragon Lord’s agencies. Southerland has a small room he uses sparingly to mechanically launder his linens. I found it an adequate place to pass the days in sleep before my nightly activities, especially after I was able to convince my new host to provide me with regular meals. In return, I keep his living space secure against enemies and thieves. It was, and remains, a suitable arrangement.

Continue reading “The Huay Chivo (of The Blood Moon Feeds on My Dreams, by Douglas Lumsden)” →
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Ned Spinks, Chief Thief-Catcher and Jenni the sprite (of The Roshaven Series / The Bone Thief, by Claire Buss)

Dear readers, tonight with us is the chief thief-catcher for the emperor, and his second in command — a rather mischievous sprite. They’re here to talk about their quirky magical mystery adventures.

Tell us a little about where you grew up. What was it like there?

Ned: I grew up in Fidelia with my parents and brother. It’s a coast town like many others I guess except…

Jenni: Yor Dad was ‘ead of T.A.R.T.S and yor bruvver took over and made it even more evil. Only ‘e ain’t yor bruvver or yor Dad.

Ned: Yeah, just found that out. A lot to take in.

Jenni: Specially as you killed yor bruvver. It were self-defence though, Boss.

Uncomfortable silence…

Jenni: Whereas me, I’m a fae ain’t I, so I was born in the grove. Me mum is Momma K, you’ve ‘eard of ‘er. Queen of the Fae and that. Me dad I just met so I can’t really say much.

Ned: He’s no pillar of society though, is he?

Jenni: Nah. S’good job we got each uvver in Roshaven, eh?

Did you have any favourite toys as a child? Any cherished memories?

Ned: Just the usual really, wooden swords and toy bows and arrows. That sort of stuff.

Jenni: Yeah but you grew up in a big ‘ouse though, didn’t you? Wiv servants and stuff. You got taught to fence and ride and all that malark. S’not wot people get usually, Boss.

Ned: I left all that behind when I moved away from Fidelia and came here to Roshaven. Started afresh.

Jenni: True. Now you got a real sword. I never ‘ad a sword or nuffink like that. Didn’t need it being fae. Just snap me fingers and I’d get wotever I wanted. Corse that all changed when I ‘ad me coming of age ceremony and then there were the whole fing wiv the Source but I don’t fink we can talk about that, can we?

Ned: Not yet, Jenni. The book came out on 12th November, but we don’t want to spoil it for the readers.

Jenni: Right, right. I wos a ‘appy kid though. Always in everyfink, you know wot it’s like. Fun times.

What do you do now?

Ned: I’m Chief Thief-Catcher here in Roshaven. It’s my job to run the team and keep the empire safe from the criminal element.

Jenni: And I’m ‘is right ‘and fae.

Ned: That’s right, Jenni is my second in command. We also have Willow, a tree nymph, Joe, a regular human and Sparks, a firefly. We are actually looking for new recruits so if you think you’ve got what it takes to keep the streets of Roshaven safe then do pop in to Headquarters for a chat.

Jenni: And don’t go to the old ones on Justice ‘Eights. We ain’t there no more. Not after it got burnt down again again. We’re in The Noose, on the corner of the Black Narrows. Can’t miss us. Curry Night special on Thursdays.

Ned: We both joined the Catchers at the same time. It’s a funny story actually, involving a potato…

Jenni: Yeah, but we can’t talk about that eivver, Boss. It’s coming up, innit. When she wot does the writing sorts out the Case Files.

Ned: Yes, that’s right. There will be more Case Files coming your way, detailing some of our more interesting cases.

Jenni: Like the runaway cheese. And the Tea Cake Alley riots.

Ned: Best not to say too much more.

Jenni: Rightchoo are, Boss. ‘Ere, did you always wanna be a catcher? I tried a few fings first afore I knew. Didn’t get on wiv any of ‘em. And I definitely ain’t gonna be the next Queen of the Fae. No fank you!

Ned: I knew I wanted to do something in the opposite direction to my family.

Jenni: Them’s being thieves and vagabonds and evil and wotnot.

Ned: Erm, yeah. And I saw a notice in The Daily Blag about recruitment for the Catchers so I thought I’d go along. That was when…

Jenni: Boss! We can’t tell ‘em, remember? They gotta wait for the Case File to find out wot ‘appened.

Ned: Yes, sorry.

Continue reading “Ned Spinks, Chief Thief-Catcher and Jenni the sprite (of The Roshaven Series / The Bone Thief, by Claire Buss)” →
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Saul Imbierowicz (of Unavoidable, by Coy Kissee and Geoff Habiger)

Dear readers, tonight with us is a postal employee from 1920’s Chicago. He’s here to talk about being murdered buy AL Capone, and about being reborn as a vampire.

Tell us a little about where you grew up. What was it like there?

I was born and raised in Chicago. Mom raised me to go to Temple and respect my elders, while Dad taught me to be a Cubs and a Blackhawks fan, and that the only way to succeed in life was to work hard. My little sister, Sarah, tries to teach me patience, but I’m apparently a slow learner, heh. Until recently, we lived together in a second-floor apartment near Douglas Park, but once I got a job at the post office, I saved up enough to get my own place. It wasn’t much, but it was mine, and the only thing I had to worry about was my nosy neighbor keeping track of my every move and reporting back to my mother. At least, that’s what I thought. Then I died, but that wasn’t so bad, as I ended up getting a better apartment out of the deal. Silver lining, right?

Did you have any favorite toys as a child? Any cherished memories?

We didn’t have much in the way of toys growing up. Dad made a decent living at the meat packing plant, but not enough for too many extras, you know? I don’t have a lot of memories with my Dad other than sending him off to work in the morning before school, or eating dinner together once he got home, but there was one day that we had together that I’ll never forget.

It was Memorial Day, 1916, and Dad had the day off. The Cardinals were in town, and that day was a double-header. Dad surprised me with tickets and we spent the whole day together at Weeghman Park. The Cubs got shut out in the first game, but in the second game, Cy Williams hit a home run off of Bob Steele that landed close enough that I could chase after it. When I saw the ball coming our way, I heard Dad say, “If you want it enough, you might be able to get that ball.” That was all I needed. I shot out of my seat, and raced to where the ball landed, determined to snare my prize. Just as it was almost in my grasp, a bigger kid snatched it up in his meaty paw and jumped up and down for joy. Dejected I shuffled my way back to my seat. I sat there, pouting in silence, until my father said, “Do you see how happy that boy is?” I glanced up at him, and then over to the boy with the ball, and mumbled, “Yeah.” He looked me square in the eye and replied, “He thinks that he’s happy because he has a new ball, but he’s wrong. He’s happy because his hard work paid off. He saw something that he wanted, and he didn’t let anything stop him from getting it. He could lose that ball tomorrow, but he’ll remember the day that he got it for the rest of his life.” Dad had always touted hard work, but this particular example is the one that really hit home. No pun intended, heh.

What do you do now?

I worked for the United States Post Office up until my untimely demise. After that, I became a government agent, working for Eliot Ness. With the help of my partner, Christian Wright, I enforce the law and am trying to take down Chicago’s biggest gangster, and fellow vampire, Al Capone. Oh, whoops, I probably shouldn’t have said the part about the vampires. I mean, I was just kidding, there’s no such thing as vampires. Heh. Um… yeah. So…

Ok, fine, here’s the deal. It turns out that my former girlfriend was a vampire who worked for Al Capone, who is also a vampire. That’s not public knowledge, so you can’t publish any of this. It’s… what do you call it? Off the record? So, anyway, she turned me into a vampire before she got killed in that big shootout on Valentine’s Day. She was under orders from Capone to get me to steal some ledger books that Capone wanted. I got caught up in this giant mess between Capone and Bugs Moran and the Feds, and I didn’t even escape with my life. Capone himself murdered me on the Michigan Avenue bridge. Of course, at the time, I didn’t know that I’d become a vampire. I just thought I was dead. Which I was. Am. Heh.

Once I rose from the dead (no, not like Jesus), I became part of a team, led by Eliot Ness, with the main goal of taking down Al Capone once and for all. The fact that he (and I) are vampires isn’t even known by everyone on my team, but we’re fighting fire with fire, so to speak. My partner, Christian, was not very happy about the situation at first. Or now, even. We’ve gotten so close that he calls me these fun nicknames, like “abomination” and “affront to God”. Yeah, he’s quite religious, but he wants to take down Capone just as much as I do, so I trust him with my life. Death. Whatever.

What can you tell us about your latest adventure?

Well, now we have a new boss, this J. Edgar Hoover guy, and he wants us to try to get Capone for tax evasion (I know, super exciting, right? I get to use all my special vampire accounting powers. Just kidding, that’s not really a thing. Heh.), although my partner and I think that he deserves a stake through the heart instead. Since we’re not going to be super busy with that, I think we should try to figure out who the mystery player is that seems to be at odds with Capone. If we can’t figure that out, I worry that Chicago will end up in the middle of a vampire turf war, and nothing good can come from that.

Continue reading “Saul Imbierowicz (of Unavoidable, by Coy Kissee and Geoff Habiger)” →
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Sam Melvin (of Zombie Detective, by Andy Zach)

Dear readers, tonight we feature an ex-reporter specialising in zombie turkeys. After being fired from the newspaper, he decided to give being a detective a try — but found that people are only interested in hiring him for his experience in dealing with zombie animals

Tell us a little about where you grew up. What was it like there?

This’ll be short, since Midley, Illinois is a very small town (510) and there’s not much to it. I grew up on a farm, but I went to town several times a week with my parents and then every day when I started school. There’s only one street, one high school (300 students), one junior high, and one elementary school. We also have a hamburger stand, a gas station, and a post office.

People are basically the salt of the earth, in the sense they talk about fertilizer and farms and corn and bean prices.

It wasn’t bad at all. I got to drive my dad’s tractor by the time I was ten, and the grain truck by the time I was fourteen. We had a creek and swamp to play in and I could ride my bike to my school friends.

Did you have any favourite toys as a child? Any cherished memories?

I loved playing with my trucks and cars in the sandbox. I played a little pickup baseball and football, but I was never any good. But I was always picked for the teams by my friends, so I had fun anyway.

I remember going to the big town of Peoria for special dinners with my family, like my parents’ anniversary. I got to see the Caterpillar Power Parade and the Heart of Illinois Fair.

What do you do now?

Until yesterday, I was a reporter for the Midley Beacon specializing in tracking and reporting on zombie turkeys. They’ve pretty much died out, that is, they’ve been ground up for sausage or whatever. They don’t really die without a LOT of encouragement.

This morning I was fired by my wife, Lisa Melvin, who’s the editor of the paper. She said the paper isn’t making enough to pay me. I’m worth more drawing unemployment. I’m going to give private investigation a try now. I’m good at asking questions and getting to the bottom of things. Lisa said she’d make it all legal, somehow.

What can you tell us about your latest adventure?

After chasing zombie turkeys, even investigating murders will seem tame. But my first case is from a dairy farmer whose cows keep escaping. He thinks some zombie animal is involved. Could be. I’ll find out. Can’t be any more dangerous than zombie turkeys, can it?

Continue reading “Sam Melvin (of Zombie Detective, by Andy Zach)” →
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Verena (of Verena’s Whistle, by K. Panikian)

Dear readers, tonight with us is a grad student from Alaska who found out her family has been keeping secrets about their origins and their purpose. She’s here to talk about magic, love, and saving the world from Chernobog’s demonic beasts.

Tell us a little about where you grew up. What was it like there?

Hey guys! My name’s Verena, but my friends call me Very. I grew up in Anchorage, Alaska with my parents and my Grandpa Basil. I always knew we had magic, but never why or how. But a few months ago, a meteor struck the ground in Russia and man, I found out some secrets!

Did you have any favourite toys as a child? Any cherished memories?

Hmm, favorite toys? I guess, being from Alaska, I have to say my pond skates? Maybe I should say something sweet and cute, like my dolls, but honestly, I was a tomboy. I was a bossy kid and I’m still pretty take-charge. I liked to play sports and run around in the woods with the kids that lived nearby.

My cousins, Theo and Julian, would come up and visit in the summer and seriously, summertime in Alaska is like, heaven. We’d camp and hike and mess around with our magic.

There are some great magic wielders in my family, people that can launch lightning bolts or create incredible illusions, or people that can see into the future. But my magic never manifested more than a little—like, I could make sparks. Big deal. Everyone was really nice about it, of course, but it was a definitely sore spot for me.

I threw myself into my sword training instead—my family is really big on martial arts training, sword play, that sort of thing. I figured, if I couldn’t do magic, I’d learn other ways to defend myself. And, I have to tell you, I’m really, really good with my sword. Should I just have said my sword? I like my sword—it’s this 1796 light cavalry saber and seriously, it is SWEET.

What can you tell us about your latest adventure?

I’m not supposed to tell anyone, but you look like you can keep a secret.

So, the people in my family that can do magic? It turns out that we’re descended from those crazy Roman-Vikings guys, the Varangians. Ever heard of them? A thousand or so years ago, the Byzantine emperor sent a cohort of his Varangian Guards to Rus. And when they got there, they vanished, poof, gone from the history books.

What ACTUALLY happened is that a meteor struck their camp and it opened a portal to another world! Can you believe it? I couldn’t believe it, the first time Grandpa Basil told me the story. In the other world, they learned magic and they battled demons. They built a huge citadel and just tried to survive that really hostile place.

Now, about 100 years ago, my great aunts and uncles were out hunting demons in the countryside and they found another portal back to Earth! They went through and ended up in Russia, which, you know, was not a great place to be at that time. They hid and fled and ended up in Alaska. And they kept their origins a secret. Obviously.

But when that meteor struck in Russia in February, they knew someone would have to go and check it, to make sure none of the demons came through. So, I did! I went with Julian and Theo and we kicked some demon ass, let me tell you.

Continue reading “Verena (of Verena’s Whistle, by K. Panikian)” →
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Robinson Lubank (of Alexander Southerland P.I. series, by Douglas Lumsden)

Dear readers, tonight we revisit the world of Alexander Southerland, P.I., whom we visited before. This time we reprint a magazine interview with his gnomish lawyer, that lovable scamp Rob Lubank. Caution: foul language ahead.

Welcome to Community Outreach. Today’s guest is one of the most well-known defense attorneys in Yerba City. Could you please introduce yourself to our audience?

Glad to. I’m Robinson Lubank, attorney at law. What th’fuck d’ya wanna know about me?

You’ve been described as someone who has his finger on the pulse of Yerba City. Would you say that this is an accurate assessment?

You kidding me? I’ve got this town by the balls! I’ve got the dirt on every important person in the metropolitan area, and that includes the judges. That’s why I’m the best defense attorney in the city.

Have you always wanted to be a lawyer?

I’ve always wanted to make a lot of dough, and I figured out pretty early in the game that making it as a mouthpiece would be a hell of a lot less risky than robbing banks. As you can see by my big adorable round ears, I’m a gnome. I don’t pack a lot of muscle into this three-and-a-half-foot body of mine. I’ve got more brains than brawn, and the law is a good racket for a mug like me.

Gnomes are known for their financial success, aren’t they?

Hey, that’s a stereotype! Not all gnomes are rich, but, yeah, a lot of us are. We tend to have good heads for business. When the Dragon Lords stormed out of Hell, they brought trolls and dwarfs along to slap their enemies around on the battlefield. They brought us gnomes along because they needed people with intelligence to build their economic infrastructures. We gnomes prefer to do our fighting across a table in the boardroom, or in the courts.

What was it like growing up in Yerba City?

I had it pretty good. My father was a bank manager. Very fuckin’ respectable. He taught me the value of money, which is something I’ve never forgotten. School was okay. I made some dough helping some of the guys get through it, you know, doing their homework for them and “convincing” some of the teachers to alter their grades.

How did you do that?

Hey, teachers aren’t any cleaner than anyone else. They’ve all got something to hide. Maybe from their spouses, or maybe from their bosses—maybe even from the coppers! Once you’ve ferreted out their little peccadilloes, they become very willing to make deals.

So blackmail is the key to your success?

Watch it, pal! “Blackmail” is such an ugly word. It’s not my fault that so many people have skeletons in their closet, or that I’m so good at discovering them. Once my operation started to grow, I began hiring investigators to get the dirt for me. There’s this hard number named Alex Southerland, for example. He’s done a lot of good work for me. We have a nice copacetic little arrangement. He tends to get himself into a lot of hot water with the boys in blue, and it’s my job to get him out it. For a price, of course. I make sure that I rack up a lot of billable hours keeping him free to operate, and, as a result, he’s into me deep. He pays some of it back by doing investigative work for me, but the poor bastard will probably die owing me money. And the way he operates, that could happen sooner rather than later.

Continue reading “Robinson Lubank (of Alexander Southerland P.I. series, by Douglas Lumsden)” →
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Hera, Queen of Olympus (of Club Olympus, by James Morley)

Dear readers, tonight with us is the queen goddess of the ancient Greek pantheon, to tell us about adjusting to the world of the Roaring 20’s.

So, you grew up inside your father, Cronus’ stomach. What was that like?

What do you think it was like? It was awful. I spent my childhood uncomfortable, in darkness, with no company but my siblings. We all lived in a stomach with very little to talk about. But that was a long time ago, we’ve all put those dark memories behind us.

Did you have any favourite toys as a child? Any cherished memories?

I grew up in a stomach, and oddly the man who ate his children didn’t also eat toys for us. I would say that my favourite memory or moment was when Cronos swallowed a rock thinking it was Zeus. I knew when that rock fell that I had a sibling out there, it was a hope that made me and the others stronger.

What is it like being married to a mob boss? What do you do to support the family?

I keep prohibition going. I work with the stuffy old women of the anti-prohibition league. I keep the puritans fired up and keep prohibition in law. The last thing any of us want are for legal bars to be able to open up again, there’s too much money to be made in speakeasies. I also clean up Zeus’ messes. My husband has a wandering eye and I make sure there are no accidents that could come back and damage him or the family. Someone has to look after them.

What can you tell us about your latest adventure?

I wouldn’t call having my family subjected to constant attack an adventure. We’ve never been on the defensive before. We straddled the world as colossi for centuries. It’s been a radical change to have to fight to preserve what we have. To be honest the whole series of events is testing us all. We’re having to push past our limits like never before, and I had just got used to a life of relaxation. I guess that’s what immortality is: learning that nothing lasts forever.

Continue reading “Hera, Queen of Olympus (of Club Olympus, by James Morley)” →
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