Dear readers, tonight with us is a young woman who bore witness to a series of cataclysmic cosmic events. She speaks about facing vicious abominations, droves of those who have become mere husks of their former selves, and a dangerous cult bent on sacrificing our world to The Great Old One.

Tell us a little about where you grew up. What was it like there?

Atlanta. It was like any other big city, full of opportunities and barriers to those opportunities. Leaving there for Lexington, during what we now call the Cthulhu Apocalypse, was bittersweet. It was my home.

Did you have any favourite toys as a child? Any cherished memories?

My telescope. I was an astronomy nerd from the get-go. I learned at an early age (about 10 or 11) how small the Earth was compared to the vastness of the cosmos.

My most vivid memory is spending summer vacations at Lake Allatoona with my parents. I’m an only child but was allowed to explore on my own. One summer, I discovered a hidden door in the cabin we were staying at. It was in the empty bedroom where we stored our luggage. It was a small door under the staircase that ran up to the loft on the other side of the wall. I went inside and discovered a small library of books stacked up in a pile and covered with dust. All were books by H.P. Lovecraft. I took them all and read them the rest of the vacation. I owned them up until the events in 2028 that changed the world forever.

What do you do now?

I kill Lovecraftian monstrosities, and eventually (hopefully), Cthulhu himself. I also am a co-General for The Elder Sign Army – working with Generals Ben “The Nameless One” Walker, Frank “The Lawman” Hodges, Roger “Dirge” Young, and Gail “Star” Simpson – to organize a resistance against The High Priest and his Cosmic Church of the World Eater; fend off the aforementioned monstrosities; and am preparing to take a stand against Cthulhu upon his arrival at Red River Gorge in the coming weeks.

What can you tell us about your latest adventure?

As I said before, I left Atlanta in February of 2028 to head to Lexington to meet an online friend (Dr. Ed “The Scholar” Howard), who said he had clues as to what was going on after a series of celestial events rocked the world. On my way there, I encountered a cult (the Cosmic Church mentioned before). In my final phone call to Dr. Howard before the power went out around the world, we agreed I would infiltrate this cult to discover their motives and perhaps learn more about these mysterious celestial events.

I sought out the High Priest and befriended him immediately. Despite being a scumbag, he did share with me the cult’s purpose: to welcome Cthulhu (who he said was the cause of the cosmic events via his journey to Earth) and bring Cthulhu to the bayous of Louisiana to complete some sort of ‘ritual of conjunction.’

I left the Church under the guise of embarking on a pilgrimage to recruit more members and, after failing to reach Dr. Howard, sought out one of his friends, Ben Walker.

What did you first think when you encountered a Nullwalker?

I was terrified! The thing stalked like a velociraptor, and everywhere it turned its gaze, it swept a cone of ‘black light’ that dissolved everything it touched. Then, something inside of me turned my fear to rage,  and I leapt onto the back of it and sliced its neck off with my (real) katana. The katana disintegrated but had got the job done. I stomped on its head for good measure and noticed that its black skull fragments gave off a kind of aura or energy. Sorry, I know that sounds like new age BS, but that’s the best way that I can describe it. It was this discovery that turned the tide in the apocalypse and the war that came with it.

What was the scariest thing in your adventures?

You would think it would be Cthulhu, or the monstrosities and abominations we deal with every day, but for me, it’s the thought of losing Ben… Um, I think I’ve said too much…

What is the worst thing about living in an apocalypse?

The constant struggle to find food…and the smell! Everyone and everything is putrid!

What is the best thing about it?

My friends.

Tell us a little about your friends.

Ben is our leader. Strong-minded and practical. He’s also a brilliant tactician. His plan for the coming war is genius. Star and I had an adventure together that, let’s say, tested the boundaries of how far I will go to save the world. Afterwards we became close friends. Frank is just Frank. A bit rough, but I respect his fearlessness and determination. Dirge is a bit of a slacker but I have to give him credit for his bravery and nonchalance in this nightmare.

Any romantic involvement?

Not yet. But despite our age difference, there is one guy…

Whom (or what) do you really hate?

The High Priest is a total phony psycho. Let’s just leave it at that.

What’s your favourite drink, colour, and relaxing pastime?

Water. I love the color purple. And stargazing is still something I can do, even during this horrific time.

What does the future hold for you?

Hopefully, defeating Cthulhu. From there, maybe taking things to the next level with that certain someone…

Can you share a secret with us, which you’ve never told anyone else?

I had a dream the other night that I dismissed as just a nightmare. But now I am wondering if it isn’t a vision of the future or something. All I can remember is a man called The Zealot and some two-hundred-foot-tall tree-like monster towering over a subdivision…

Richard Weber lives in Kentucky. He hopes – with every ounce of his being – that the accounts in his book are not true.

You can find Rhona on the pages of How I Survived the Cthulhu Apocalypse.

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