The Protagonist Speaks

Dear readers, tonight with me is a young man working as a detective by day and and as a guide for departed souls by night. Between mafioso godmothers and the cement shoes on non-human skeletons sleeping with the fishes, he’s here to tell us about his uncanny adventures.

Rather unorthodoxly, the interview is recorded from the point of view of the interviewee. Who says mind-reading isn’t fun?

Please introduce yourself –

I raise my hand for a pause and pull out a pack of cigarettes. After going through my motions, I light the cigarette and take my first smoke of the morning.

After exhaling, I say, “Can you repeat that?”

Please introduce yourself, and the book you are from.

“My name is Mikhail, last name private. My first appearance is in the Scented Bones by Angelina Kerner.”

Tell us a little about where you grew up. What was it like there?

“Can’t really. There’s no real place that I can call home. My parents moved a lot when I was a kid. It’s not in our nature to stay in one place. I remember living in the in-between, in the mountains, by the ocean, in a big city. Thanks to my parents travels, I can adapt to anything and I mean anything,” I say and wink.

What do you mean by not in your nature?

“Oh,” I said. “You don’t know.” I laugh before continuing to smoke. “I’m a psychopomp. My day job is being a detective and my underground life is helping paranormals reach an understanding at an end of an argument or accept death. I help spirits enter the otherworld and have similar powers to a witch’s. Lately, I’m stronger than my little sprite. She’s neglected her magickal part of life. I need to spank her for that. Her neglect makes my third job hell.” I laugh again.

Your third job?

I sit back and dab my cigarette on the plate on the table. “I’m only going to answer that because you’re not in the book and therefore can’t screw me or my charge. My third job is my first job. I’m someone called an Associate. I’m not part of an Italian mob, but I have a working relationship that benefits both parties.”

Who do you work for?

“We call her, Grandmother and she’s worse than any Capo di Tutti Capi. Real Badass. By your blank expression, I need to explain the term. A Capo di Tutti Capi is the godfather in charge of a five families commission. Let me know when we can continue. I’m going to let that sink in.”

I sit back and put my legs on the table, watching with interest.

Umm. Did you have any favorite toys as a child? Any cherished memories?

I snicker. “Playing safe, I see. Favorite toy.” A new cigarette moves between my fingers back-and-forth. “A police car. I used to use it to run over miniature figurines. I called them bad guys. Memory? When, I learned the reason behind moving so much. It wasn’t just about helping spirits cross, but about making connections all over the world. I got the best contacts at my beck-and-call. Grandmother loves me for it.”

What can you tell us about your latest adventure?

“I call it – babysitting. Grandmother sent me to look after her granddaughter. She’s 25, young, and stupid. She didn’t do the research on the city she moved to. Atlanta, Georgia only looks innocent on the outside but its home to an Italian mob commission of five families. The granddaughter, my little sprite, is a forensic anthropologist and one of her cases leads to two of the families. Werewolves and vampires. Now, if I don’t keep her safe, Grandmother’s going to have my head and I’m going to need my parents transfer me to the otherworld.”

What did you think of the granddaughter when you met her?

“Angel is a miniature Grandmother. Not feared yet but has a lot of potential. Very pretty on the eyes, nice curves. She has real curves.” I lit another cigarette and take a smoke again.

What was the scariest thing in your adventures?

“I wouldn’t call it scary. I would call it, alarming. That little sprite didn’t listen to me, did things her way, and I had to work some real magick on saving her life. The scary thing is that I think she’ll do something stupid like that again. As I said, she’s my first job.”

What is the worst thing about your job?

“I screw up, I’m sleeping with the fishes or end up under a house.”

What is the best thing about it?

“I got no rules to follow and get paid. As long as my job gets done, I got free reign. I’m respected.”

Tell us a little about your… acquaintances.

“I work with a lot of mundane cops. Thanks to my charge, I get acquainted with a werewolf Don, his son, and his Consigliere. Now, if that Consigliere hurts…” I pause and breath out. “Laura. She’s the granddaughter’s mundane best friend. She’s a complete opposite to her. Loves life, dresses in bright colors, seductive. She’s dating one of the werewolves of the Tarotia family. She keeps Angel grounded. Angel is the granddaughter, already talked about her. Angel’s boss Melissa is something. She’s authorative but not confident enough to keep her job.”

Any romantic involvement?

I lick my bottom lip. “Only escorts for now. I haven’t met my match yet. I don’t mind though, those elf escorts know tricks that would — ”

Whom (or what) do you really hate?

I laugh. “Right, you didn’t want me to finish that sentence. Let’s see, the vampire mafia family pisses me off. I don’t really hate them but I got no respect.”

What’s your favourite drink, colour, and relaxing pastime?

“Thanks for an easy one. Drink, anything that can help me relax after a good day’s work. Colour, I like mixed. I tend to wear crazy pants, usually checkered. The latest was green and brown. Nice mix. Pastime? Watching a good hockey game.”

What does the future hold for you?

“More looking after Angel. I get shot at one point. She so owe me for it. Angel’s next case involves yet another mafia family. I’m happy that I can turn off my powers to see and hear ghosts. They can be annoying, especially the ones that stick around in book 2.”

Can you share a secret with us, which you’ve never told anyone else?

“I like cats. They’re soft, fluffy, friendly. Not like dogs. They think that they’re in charge and I kind of like that.”

Angelina Kerner is a self-published author of paranormal and lighthearted romance. She’s the wife of a photographer/physicist, and the mother of a cute little toddler, but she’s also been a dancer, a psychologist, an anthropologist, a geographer, a dreamer, and an adventurer. She does her best writing while being bothered by her cats, taking care of her son, in dressing rooms while waiting for family to try on clothing, and at home in sunny California. Angelina loves to play goddess-dragon matchmaker, transporting readers to a place where young goddesses have lovable flaws, the Fates plan to dethrone, the universe is endless and untamed, and dragons roam free! She also loves to write carefree romance where one can finish reading with a smile.

You can find Mikhail on the pages of The Scented Bones.

Join us next week to meet a woman and her son, facing both a personal and a literal end of the world. Please follow the site by email (bottom-right) to be notified when the next interview is posted.