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The Protagonist Speaks

Interviews with the characters of your favourite books

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Cthulhu

Felicity Brockenhurst (of the Mon Dieu, Cthulhu! series, by John Houlihan)

Dear readers, tonight with us is a British lady from the time of the Napoleonic wars, who — quite unlike other ladies — is one of Sir Arthur Wellesley’s renowned spies and assassins. Call her a love-interest at your peril, but we did interview the protagonist from these books before.

Tell us a little about where you grew up. What was it like there?

My name is Felicity Brockenhurst and I was born in British India in 1789. Sadly, my mother died giving birth to me, so I was raised by my father who provided me with the best private tutors, and an all around education which was quite unconventional for young ladies.

Did you have any favourite toys as a child? Any cherished memories?

Toys? No, there was very little time for such frivolities. My tender years were spent in training and preparation. Riding, hunting, fishing, shooting, handling all forms of weaponry like knives, guns, swords and even lances. I am quite fond of the custom pepperbox revolver my father gave me aged seven though.

What do you do now?

Well, normally I am not so indiscreet, but since you asked so nicely. By day, I am a… I suppose what you might call an operative, an instrument, one of Sir Arthur Wellesley’s most renowned spies and assassins. The French call La Rosignol, the Nightingale and have all manner of wild tales of my accomplishments. It is said I smuggled Trouvier out of the Bastille hidden beneath my skirts, liberated the plans for invading Iberia from a locked strongbox under the Empereur‘s bed, and even eliminated the unfortunate General Lanoir through the sheer vigour of my lovemaking…  Modesty forbids me telling you which of these contain more than a grain of truth.

What can you tell us about your latest adventure?

Ah, the affair of the Shadow of the Serpent? It is Gaston Dubois’ tale truly of course, that brave, foolish, hot-blooded chap. He’s an absolute clod sometimes, but a brave one and an undeniably handsome one with those moustaches and cadenettes. He is one whom I must confess, I have more than a trifling affection for.

In this tale from his memoirs, Dubois is drummed out of this beloved hussars over a foolish duel and sent in disgrace to the “Accursed 31st” Dragoons who he is charged with turning into a proper fighting force (accompanied by his loyal sergeant the redoubtable Bastien Sacleaux, of course). There he earns the enmity of the countryside and a local bandita by the name of La Espina, the Thorn, who seems determined to have this head. While it is a trying experience, it is also an instructive one, for it is during this epic travail and through the battles he fights, first against La Espina’s wiles and then against the Spanish army, that he first begins to learn the real truth behind the Eternal Struggle which governs the age of Napoleon. It is where he is first set on the path that will bring him into the light to become a Keeper of the Hidden Flame, as am I.

Continue reading “Felicity Brockenhurst (of the Mon Dieu, Cthulhu! series, by John Houlihan)” →
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Rhona “The Heretic” Hunter (of How I Survived the Cthulhu Apocalypse, by Richard Weber)

Dear readers, tonight with us is a young woman who bore witness to a series of cataclysmic cosmic events. She speaks about facing vicious abominations, droves of those who have become mere husks of their former selves, and a dangerous cult bent on sacrificing our world to The Great Old One.

Tell us a little about where you grew up. What was it like there?

Atlanta. It was like any other big city, full of opportunities and barriers to those opportunities. Leaving there for Lexington, during what we now call the Cthulhu Apocalypse, was bittersweet. It was my home.

Did you have any favourite toys as a child? Any cherished memories?

My telescope. I was an astronomy nerd from the get-go. I learned at an early age (about 10 or 11) how small the Earth was compared to the vastness of the cosmos.

My most vivid memory is spending summer vacations at Lake Allatoona with my parents. I’m an only child but was allowed to explore on my own. One summer, I discovered a hidden door in the cabin we were staying at. It was in the empty bedroom where we stored our luggage. It was a small door under the staircase that ran up to the loft on the other side of the wall. I went inside and discovered a small library of books stacked up in a pile and covered with dust. All were books by H.P. Lovecraft. I took them all and read them the rest of the vacation. I owned them up until the events in 2028 that changed the world forever.

What do you do now?

I kill Lovecraftian monstrosities, and eventually (hopefully), Cthulhu himself. I also am a co-General for The Elder Sign Army – working with Generals Ben “The Nameless One” Walker, Frank “The Lawman” Hodges, Roger “Dirge” Young, and Gail “Star” Simpson – to organize a resistance against The High Priest and his Cosmic Church of the World Eater; fend off the aforementioned monstrosities; and am preparing to take a stand against Cthulhu upon his arrival at Red River Gorge in the coming weeks.

Continue reading “Rhona “The Heretic” Hunter (of How I Survived the Cthulhu Apocalypse, by Richard Weber)” →
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Lieutenant Colonel Gaston d’Bois (of Mon Dieu Cthulhu! by John Houlihan)

Dear readers, tonight with us is a French Hussar from the Napoleonic Wars, who found out that there are worse horrors than facing Wellington in battle. He’s here to tell, in his charmingly French way of speaking, about his adventures.

Tell us a little about where you grew up. What was it like there?

D’Bois is a child of the forest, and was most fortunate to grow up in the Ardennes and even luckier that it was the French rather than the Belgian part, non, or Lieutenant Colonel Gaston d’Bois (retired) would be a different man entirely!  Mon Dieu, you could not wish for a more idyllic playground, the wooded glades were my play pen, the trees my climbing frame, the birds and the beasts my teachers, and d’Bois learned many of the most important lessons in life underneath that idyllic canopy.

Did you have any cherished childhood memories?

D’Bois was born to be an hussar, a formidable rider, swordsmen, crack shot and lover, although he is equally a most ‘umble and modest man. Yet it was almost before he could walk that he began his lifelong love affair with the cheval—the ‘orse as I believe you Anglais types term them.  D’Bois took to the saddle like he was born there and his père schooled him in the virtues of ‘unting, shooting and swordplay, so he was perfectly prepared for the horse soldier’s life which destiny had chosen for him.

What do you do now?

Alas, d’Bois is long in his dotage now, but the fire still burns, even if it produces more smoke than flame nowadays! Mais, but he is passing the time, in between pursing the delightful if ever elusive widow, by recounting his adventures in Napoleon’s grand armee to a journaliste Anglaise. Normally, these are the most despicable of low life types, who d’Bois would not hesitate to horsewhip on sight. Yet this one seems a decent fellow, enraptured by the many strange occult adventures that befell d’Bois during his time in Napoleon’s armee, as well as being most liberal with the cognac.

Continue reading “Lieutenant Colonel Gaston d’Bois (of Mon Dieu Cthulhu! by John Houlihan)” →
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