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The Protagonist Speaks

Interviews with the characters of your favourite books

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Amsterdam

Fitzsimmons Noakes (of Amster Damned, by Nils Nisse Visser)

Dear readers, tonight with me is Fitzsimmons Noakes, the modest captain of the airship ‘The Centennial Kestrel’, the fastest Channel-Runner in business I am told. 

We were actually hoping to interview Miss Alice Kittyhawk about her adventures, but she  had pressing obligations in London and sent Captain Noakes in her stead.

Captain Noakes has a peculiar way of speaking which might sound a bit odd to modern ears, and we suspect that this particular interview is NSFW. You have been warned.


No offense, but I was expecting one Miss Alice Kittyhawk… erm… Mister…?

Cap’n Fitzsimmons Noakes, at your service. Alice asked  me to come, said I’d be better at it cause I never shut me sauce-box. Damfino why,  I am more quiet than a nun what took vows of silence, ‘onest Guv, you’ll find me jaws are locked tighter than the creamy thighs of a……

Yes, quite, so you can tell us something about Miss Kittyhawk? How long have you known her?

Since she was a nipper, used to perch on me knee and I’d sing her a ditty or two, didn’t I? Not that dull patriotic rubbish, mind you, proper songs like ‘Ere’s to the Grog and Lily White Thighs. I’ve ‘eard Alice whistling the tunes aboard the Kestrel, proud as a peacock I were, to know I been such a good influence.

By the light of a candle I happened to spy
A pretty young couple together did lie
Said Nelly to John if you’ll pull up my smock
You’ll find a young hen full as good as your…..

I get the gist of the song, thank you. Was this in the village of Rottingdean?

Yarr, Rottingdean in Sussex. I were crewing for Alice’s old man, you see, on The Salty Mew, the fizziest aerocraft on the south coast at the time. ‘Er dad were John ‘Awkeye, you must ‘ave ‘eard of ‘im? Course you ‘ave, everybody ‘as!! Cap’n ‘Awkeye being famous in…..erm…..the business of logistics. Continue reading “Fitzsimmons Noakes (of Amster Damned, by Nils Nisse Visser)”

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Katla Sieltjes and Bram Merleyn (of the Amsterdam Assassin Series by Martyn V. Halm)

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Dear readers, It’s quite an honour to receive the protagonists of the Amsterdam Assassin Series for an interview, since both are known to be notoriously reticent to talk about themselves. For this interview we have left the usual couch behind, and meet them at Katla Sieltjes’s new office in the Kavallerie Kazerne near Artis, the Amsterdam Zoo. Katla’s boyfriend, Bram Merleyn, is already there, cleaning his tenor saxophone. His distinctive looks, especially the scarring on his face caused by the shrapnel that blinded him, make Katla look especially nondescript in her appearance. Katla often remarked how her bland appearance was an asset in her occupation, so I asked about that first.

Katla Sieltjes: Unlike most of my girlfriends, I didn’t really want to stand out with my appearance. I often dressed in jeans and a t-shirt, and I wasn’t curvy, so some people even confused me with being a boy.

Assaph Mehr: Why didn’t you want to stand out?

Katla Sieltjes: Fits best with my nature, I think. I tend to be an observer more than a participant. I guess you could call me an Einzelgänger. Continue reading “Katla Sieltjes and Bram Merleyn (of the Amsterdam Assassin Series by Martyn V. Halm)”

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