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The Protagonist Speaks

Interviews with the characters of your favourite books

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Paul Landrum (of The Promise of Unbroken Straw, by Ken Steele)

Dear readers, tonight with us is a boy on the cusp of teenagehood, growing up in a US small town while WWII rages on.

Tell us a little about where you grew up. What was it like there?

[Interviewer’s note:  Paul glances away, begins fidgeting] Well, I’m not sure I want to talk about that. But since you asked, I was born on a wheat farm in Wyatt County, Oklahoma, though I got out of there as soon as I could. I guess I can’t really take credit for the escape, as those circumstances sort of fell in my lap.

So, you’re asking about life on a farm in the 1940s. Every day, and I mean every day, starts a couple of hours before dawn. Feeding the livestock, milking cows, repairing whatever just broke. And staying ahead of all sorts of things that can stunt the growth of the wheat. Then on school days, you get sidetracked for hours on end with a bunch of worthless gobbledygook, come back home, and pick-up where you left off until sundown. On a farm, it’s all about the crop, end of story. Maybe next year there will be time for fun. But realistically, probably not.

Did you have any favourite toys as a child? Any cherished memories?

Toys? Yeah right. Like we could actually afford stuff like that. Sorry, toys weren’t in the budget, other than my comic book collection, that is. I did get a new fishing pole one Christmas, and Grandpa and I trotted it out as often as we could. For fly fishing, that is, not that other sport where everyone gets their hands filthy messing with live bait. I do have a lot of memories of Grandpa . . . and my brother, Tim, of course. Both gave me tons of advice, wanted or otherwise, but I suppose most of it was worth hearing. Jake, on the other hand, he didn’t waste time on advice. He wasn’t like most fathers, in that way at least. In other ways too, if we’re counting. And then, of course, there’s Momma, who died when I was young. But I don’t want to talk about that.

What do you do now?

Well, I eventually ended up in some line of work that I’d never even heard of back on the farm. Never saw that coming. But I suppose I was always fond of math even though most of my classmates poked fun. My fault that they even knew about that, as I usually keep such things to myself. You know, just to blend in. There’s a lot to be said for blending in when you live in some corner of nowhere.

What can you tell us about your biggest adventure?

I’ve gotta be careful here as I don’t want to get ahead of myself. But I will say that we had plenty of ups and downs not long after my fourteenth birthday. For starters, I thought we were actually going to starve. Hand to heart, I didn’t see how we were going to get by. Even Jake was scared; I could see it in his eyes. But the way we climbed out of that hole, now that was something else. I guess I can say this much. Things took an . . . unexpected . . . turn. Some would say for the better; others would say that anyone who felt that way was certifiably crazy. At any rate, I wasn’t remotely prepared for the changes. None of us were. But we did the best that we could. Looking back, I just wish we’d have done some things differently.

Continue reading “Paul Landrum (of The Promise of Unbroken Straw, by Ken Steele)” →
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Dom-ma (of The Mud Man, by Donna Marie West)

Dear readers, tonight with us is a man from pre-history, frozen for the past ten millennia and now revived. He’s here to tell us about life back then, and about being forced to learn about our modern world.

Tell us a little about where you grew up. What was it like there?

I grew up with my people in the north of what you now call British Columbia. We spent winters near the ocean and summers in a mountain valley inland. It was a peaceful childhood surrounded by family. Then I became a man and had my own family. To be honest, I lost my father and most of my first family—my woman Roo, four children—when a big sickness swept through my village. People became covered with red spots and grew weak until they died. I was not even sick! Much later, I left my people and while I was alone I was attacked by a bear. I almost died then, but I was found by hunters from another tribe and healed by a young woman. She later became my woman and I began my second family.

Did you have any favourite toys as a child? Any cherished memories?

I do not remember having toys, but I always liked to draw and paint. I played with my brothers and sisters. We fished and collected plants for eating and medicine. My father taught me to hunt and make stone tools. My mother taught me how to make baskets, clothes, and string. How to make medicine from plants. When I was fifteen, I spent a month alone in the forest to become a man. I will never forget that special place and time. I left my mark in a small cave to say to others that I was there.

What do you do now?

Now? I am trying to survive in this world I do not know or understand. I spend my days in Doctor Walter’s hospital. Vee takes me outside to visit places in the city. Sometimes, she takes me to her place, where she has two cats. They are like the wild cats I know, but smaller and soft and friendly. They even have names—Rusty and Scout.

What can you tell us about your latest adventure?

To be honest, every day is an adventure, and not always a pleasant one. I woke up in a place called a hospital only to realize that everything and everyone I ever knew is gone. I am learning to speak the language called English. Learning everything all over—to sit and eat and dress and walk—as if I am a child.

Continue reading “Dom-ma (of The Mud Man, by Donna Marie West)” →
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Lieutenant Jameson (of Through Jaded Eyes, by Ryan McClellan)

Dear readers, tonight we bring you the antagonist from a world where fear is the ultimate weapon, one man’s rebellion could change everything—or destroy it all.

Tell us a little about where you grew up. What was it like there?

Before the tragedy, I grew up in Manhattan. The streets were riddled with peasants, drifters, and the like. I always pitied them. I eventually signed up for a classified doctrine that would help me pay my rent. Little did I know, it was nothing short of a brainwashing experiment. I once  saw a movie, before The Great Degeneration, about a man named Jason Bourne, who underwent a similar story: I was told that I was to forget my own name, and it took a while before I realized that I needed to join the TRITE Movement, which indoctrinated me into combat. The rest, as they say, is history.

Did you have any favorite toys as a child? Any cherished memories?

When The Great Degeneration occurred, and I cannot say I fully understand what happened, I was left on the streets. I recall a drifter handing me a vial of a compound known as LSD. This, unfortunately, was my only toy, and then all went blank. Three years later, I woke up in the midst of a world that had changed. Manhattan was now enclosed by a great wall, and TRITE ran the streets. Once again, my memory is foggy, but I do remember the fear I felt when I shot my mother and father. It was the day I swore off fear, and began to climb the ranks of the TRITE Movement, where I soon became a Lieutenant.

What do you do now?

Well, my friend, I am dead. Whether I like to believe it or not, after the death of Admiral Sathers in a car explosion, I rose to the ranks as the new leader of New Manhattan. There was a boy named Daniel, who I later found out had escaped the encompassment of the wall. For now, I will wallow in shadow, until the bombs drop once more, and I am rebirthed. From there, I shall continue to seek revenge on those who hazed me. I do not know when, but I know my body is preserved. I will find a way to live again…

What can you tell us about the escape of Daniel Sathers?

When word got out about the escapee, I had no choice but to hunt him down. Exiting into The Outskirts beyond the wall, I hunted that boy, Daniel, as he was a catalyst. He was the first to ever deny The Sickness, or what some call: “fear.” He found his way into a forbidden land, and he met a former TRITE Officer named Donnie, who seemed to be an accomplice. The chase ended in a bloody battle where the Twin Towers once stood, and Mile 9 was, unfortunately, where I decided to turn back and head to the city again. The only thing is, by the time I got there, rebellion had begun. I will forever remember the bullet that cost me my final breath. Thankfully, TRITE has ways of bringing the dead back. I will await it.

Continue reading “Lieutenant Jameson (of Through Jaded Eyes, by Ryan McClellan)” →
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Oller (of New Rock New Realm, by Richard Sparks)

Dear readers, tonight with us is a sneakthief, part of a crew on a mission to follow a cryptic message that arrived on a ghost ship.

Tell us a little about where you grew up. What was it like there?

I grew up on the streets of Brigstowe. I never knew my parents. I usually managed to find somewhere to doss down for the night. I’d have been lost without Old Fingers, who took me on as his ’prentice and taught me everything he knew about thieving. He said I was a natural. I joined the Thieves Guild as soon as I could, aged ten or so. I was soon one of their best operators. If it hadn’t been for an out-of-town lass who played me for a sucker I’d never have wound up drafted into My Lord’s army—and I’d never have met Daxx, and Grell, and Qrysta, and gone on all our adventures all over the world. Foreigners, they are, and with funny foreign ways—and Grell’s an Orc, from somewhere called Ozgaroo. But they’re my new family now. First family I ever had. Best family I could imagine.

Did you have any favourite toys as a child? Any cherished memories?

Toys? Me? Only toys I ever had were ones I nicked, and sold on as soon as I could. Cherished memories? Well, if it hadn’t been for Old Fingers spotting me nicking purses in the market, I’d probably have been caught by the guards and hauled up before the reeve. He was the saving of me, and like a father to me.

What do you do now?

I find things. I’m good at finding. Ways, gold, hidden secrets and valuables. The others rely on me to find things. And use my knives when it comes to a scrap, of course.

What can you tell us about your latest adventure?

We only went and got on board this ghost ship like four blooming idiots—well, five if you count Little Guy, my dog, who adopted me when we was on the run from the authorities. Then we got into a mess, I can tell you—having to get tricky jobs done for this nasty piece of work while the whole realm was hunting us and wanting to kill us. First job was to fight a helldragon, and it only got worse from there.

Continue reading “Oller (of New Rock New Realm, by Richard Sparks)” →
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Ed the Dimetrodon (of The Heart of Pangaea, by Lindsey Kinsella)

Dear readers, tonight we interview an imaginary friend, a precocious twelve-year-old’s companion. He’s a dinosaur, living in a fantastical pre-historic world together with other creatures, pirates, and ancient magic.

Tell us a little about where you were born. What was it like there?

Well, as an imaginary friend, I suppose I was born in my best friend’s imagination. I can’t say I remember exactly how I came to be—when did I shift from abstract thought to something… more? Am I more than that at all? What I can say is Robyn’s mind is a wild place—believe me when I say it has created more than just me!

But conceptually I was born much longer ago. You see, Robyn is a real geek for everything prehistoric, so when she concocted a friend, she modelled me on a real-life ancient creature. A Dimetrodon hailing from the Permian period, some quarter of a billion years ago and long before the first dinosaur hatched. It was a time before the rise of reptiles, when animals more similar to mammals ruled the planet.

Did you have any favourite activities as a child? Any cherished memories?

One of the downsides of being a figment of someone’s imagination is that interacting with the “real” world is… difficult. I won’t say impossible—I did once headbutt someone into a puddle, but that’s a story for another time.

So, I have to be happy to spectate. And I know that sounds boring, but I get to spectate the most interesting girl on the planet. Okay, I might be biased. She’s an incredible artist, an impressive athlete, and… a terrible singer. So, you might say my favourite activity is just being with my best friend every single day. I don’t think many people get to do that.

Of course, I’m also her emotional support—and she’s needed me for that lately. You see, her mum isn’t well. We didn’t realise until recently just how unwell. But it’s okay—we can help her.

What do you do now?

Not so long ago, Robyn and I made a discovery. It all began with the aforementioned headbutt. Look, I’m not proud of myself, but… actually I am—it was awesome and they totally deserved it. From there we came to realise that the line between what’s imaginary and what’s real is kind of vague. Under the right conditions, I can interact with the real world. And if I can, does that mean anything Robyn imagines could? Could she create real, physical things with nothing more than imagination?

One thing led to another and woosh! We find ourselves in a different world. An imaginary world, but somehow real. I can’t say I understand it myself, but I feel at home there. I can touch things, speak with people other than Robyn, I can eat. That might all sound quite pedestrian to you, but I’ve never been able to do those things before.

So now we have a job to do—a quest, if you will. Because this world, Pangaea, has a magic to it. Something more than just a tired cliché about the power of imagination. Here, we might find a cure for Robyn’s mum. If it’s here, we will find it. We have to.

What can you tell us about your latest adventure?

Our time in Pangaea has been wild. We’ve met prehistoric creatures, dined with a king, and even been kidnapped by pirates—all in search for the Heart of Pangaea. We don’t know what it is yet, but we’ll find out soon—the king reckons it could save Robyn’s mum.

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Prof Benjamin Dinerstein (of The Ibbur’s Tale, by Lenny Abelson)

Dear readers, tonight we’re chatting with an English literature professor who encountered a most unusual ghost. Straight out of Eastern European Judaic mythology, it has led him on a journey of discovery and mysteries.

TPS: We were pleased to have the opportunity to speak with Professor Emeritus Benjamin Dinerstein about his experiences with an ibbur and the remarkable history the two of them uncovered. Professor, welcome!

BD: Thank you very much, and please call me Ben. It is a pleasure to meet you.

TPS: Likewise. Well, Ben, it is now more than twenty-two years since your encounter with the ibbur. Have you had any further contact either with her or Zephaniah, the mysterious old woman who played such a prominent role in the narrative?

BD: Sadly, I have not.

TPS: But you are quite certain that you actually encountered an ibbur, in this case, the ghost of your former student, Miriam?

BD: Excuse me. I hate to wax pedantic, but I must make a quick correction. An ibbur is not to be confused with a ghost. It is a very specific type of possessive spirit. Miriam came to me seeking my assistance. She had one last mitzvah, a good deed, to perform, and that was to finish her uncle’s quest. In fairness, she would surely have completed the task herself had she not been killed in the automobile accident. That said, I am absolutely certain that the entity I encountered was indeed Miriam.

TPS: I understand. In fact, I found the story quite convincing myself. Why, there’s so much history — not only her family’s saga, but European history, from before World War One through World War Two…

BD: … and, as you probably realized as quickly as I did, it all “fits.” As implausible as it might seem, these events took place almost exactly as Susanna, whom Miriam had planned to contact, described them.

TPS: I found Susanna absolutely fascinating. What remarkable strength she must have had!

BD: I got to know her quite well over the years, and she was a wonderful woman. She died just a few months ago, though not before she had seen five great-grandchildren.

TPS: But Naomi was her only child?

BD: Yes. It seems that irony ran rampant in that family. Michael Goldberg, Susanna’s husband, had had a bad case of mumps and was apparently unable to have children of his own. Similarly, Zephaniah told me that the man Yosef Müller believed was his father had also been rendered sterile by that disease. However, it seems as though everything fell into place nevertheless, didn’t it?

TPS: Indeed. Now, I must ask you something a little more personal. You have long described yourself as a skeptic, yet you seem so willing to accept an encounter with a purported ibbur without any reservations. Did you step out of character? Did you make an exception because of your feelings toward Miriam, your former student?

BD: Not at all! Like the ancient Greek skeptics, I tend to withhold assent, at least initially. Thereafter, I reserve judgment until I have gathered sufficient information. The image of Miriam convinced me that she was indeed my brilliant student, and the strange family saga that we unfolded was considerably more believable than the appearance of an ibbur. Everything made sense, except —

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Philip Pirrup, aka Pip (of Twisted Expectations, by Brent A. Harris)

Dear readers, tonight with us is one of everyone’s favourite Dickens’ characters – talking about 19th century London, steam engines, time travel, and dinosaurs.

Tell us a little about where you grew up. What was it like there?

I grew up poor out on the Moors of Kent with my sister and her husband Joe Gargary, the local blacksmith and to whom I apprenticed under. I was raised by hand by my sister, and I do mean a mean one. Luckily, a generous benefactor intervened and sent me off to London to become a gentleman.

Did you have any favourite toys as a child? Any cherished memories?

I played at knaves with Uncle Joe, and we’d often race to see who could eat our buttered bread first each morning, and the times we’d work together at his forge, but I gave all that up when I was offered a chance to become a gentleman in London, a choice that I sometimes think back upon in regret.

What do you do now?

I am a gentleman of the city, you see. My duties are to my wealth and to my name. I’m seeking a parliamentary seat, and for that, I’ve called upon the London’s own vigilante, The Orphan, for his assistance. I wish to ally myself with him.

What can you tell us about your latest adventure?

Well, I should have known, chaps, that involving myself with Mr. Twist would inevitably wrap me up in one of his mad schemes to save the city when creatures – extinct creatures, mind you – arrive without invitation or provocation.

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Vivian Carter (of Hot Moon, by Alan Smale)

Dear readers, tonight with us is a naval aviator and astronaut, chosen to command the Apollo 32 mission, and then later carrying out a lunar geological survey and visiting both lunar poles for the first time.

Tell us a little about where you grew up. What was it like there?

Hi! Thanks for having me on. I’m Vivian Carter, US Navy and NASA, and I was a military brat. I grew up on bases and stations across America, and some overseas, and we were never in one place for more than a year or two at a time. I’d like to say that was refreshing and awesome, but actually … it sucked. Kept having to prove myself every other year to a whole new bunch of kids in a whole new place. I mean, it was okay, I made it through. My parents pretty much left me to myself, like all parents did in the 1950s and 60s. Sink or swim, right? And once I became a naval aviator, the same thing: always moving around. So I never really put down roots anywhere until I joined the astronaut corps and moved to Houston

If I’m honest, I wouldn’t say we were a close family. Aside from my gran. She’s terrific. Don’t ever mess with my gran.

Did you have any favourite toys as a child? Any cherished memories?

Toys?

Sure. You know, toys.

Well, okay, then: Airplanes. My dad made those plasticky Revell model kits, which totally makes sense, right? Fly military planes all day, and make them out of teeny tiny components and glue in the evenings. Revell, and some Airfix kits from England, I think. A lot of them were really quite nice. You’d glue them all together and then maybe paint them or just stick the decals on. Or my dad did. And then he’d hang them from the ceiling in my bedroom with string. I’d unhitch them and play with them, and then hang them back up again. I did love those planes. Never made them myself, I was out with my friends, raising Cain. I mean …  fishing. I get to edit this afterwards, right? I’m a bit punchy right now, just came off a training exercise in Panama and I’m working on very little sleep.

We can do that. Let’s jump ahead. What’s it like being a woman in the astronaut corps?

Tell you what, if we’re jumping ahead and all, why don’t I just skip the woman part and talk about being an astronaut? Which is hard work for everyone. And how goddamned proud I was to command Apollo 32, on its mission to the Marius Hills a couple of years ago. It was exploratory, walking on regolith no one had ever visited before. We did ten excursions in ten days, on foot and in the Lunar Rover. Those days were was long and hard, but exhilarating. It was the best experience of my life.

I’m sure. And what can you tell us about your next mission, your coming adventure?

As you obviously know, I’m commanding Lunar Geological Survey One when it launches next month. Which is a complete circumnavigation of the Moon, visiting both poles for the first time. We have a MOLAB – mobile laboratory, big silver pressurized truck – plus a lunar rover and a dirt bike. We’ll head north out of Zvezda-US Copernicus base to the North Pole, then down the far side of the Moon to Daedalus Base. We’ll take a two-week break there during lunar night, then off we go again: down to the South Pole, and up the nearside back to Zvezda. We’ll be taking rock samples every step of the way, visiting a whole bunch of really cool lunar sites, and doing a lot of other science as well. I was one of the designers of the original mission concept. We’re calling it “Around the Moon in Eighty Days.”

Catchy. And it sounds a lot calmer than … well. It’s safe to say that you’ve seen the Cold War up close and personal, by now.

It did get a bit hotter a couple years back, yeah. As we all know. Hopefully that’s behind us now.

Of course, but … let’s cut to the chase here. What went through your mind when you first found yourself under attack by the Soviets, in space?

I’m not really supposed to talk about that.

Whatever you feel like sharing. But … well, a lot of that was in the news, anyway. Eventually.

I guess.

Well.

When I became an astronaut – I mean, ‘became’ sounds like some fairy shook her magic wand over me – when I earned my slot on Apollo, and even more so when I flew: I honestly thought I’d left the Cold War behind, back on Earth. We all did. I mean, the Space Race was – is – still very much a thing, right? And I’m all for constructive competition, especially if it gets Congress to keep funding the Apollo Program. Wait. You’ll edit that out, right? Maybe give me a copy of the article prior to publication, so’s I can check for anything that might get me in trouble?

Of course we will.

Okay, that’s a relief. I don’t have to second-guess what I’m saying in real time, then.

Continue reading “Vivian Carter (of Hot Moon, by Alan Smale)” →
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Glinda and Hastur (of Yellow King of Oz, by Casper Hedron)

Dear readers, tonight we reprint a school newsletter from the land of Oz, interviewing two of the main characters.

Hello dear readers, and welcome to another issue of Bullet Point, official newsletter for the Royal Military Academy of Oz! Today we have something very special lined up for you; an interview with Glinda the Good, and her former adversary, Hastur. Let՚s start with a round of introductions. I am Miss Cuttenclip, writer and publisher of Bullet Point.

Glinda: And I am Glinda, Good Witch of the South, Headmistress of the Royal Military Academy of Oz, and protagonist of Casper Hedron՚s Clockwise series. You may have also seen me in Frank Baum՚s Land of Oz series of books. He wrote fourteen of them. My name was even in the title of his last book. I՚d wager not many of you knew that.

Hastur: They՚re baby books. For babies. Don՚t read them.

Cuttenclip: Hastur, care to introduce yourself?

Hastur: Of course. I am Hastur, the King in Yellow, the Unspeakable, Magnum Innominandum, the Once and Future King of Oz. I՚m also the “antagonist” of the book Yellow King of Oz, and have appeared in adult horror novels by HP Lovecraft and RW Chambers. Not for babies.

Cuttenclip: Speaking of babies, why don՚t you both tell us a little about where you grew up?

Glinda: Certainly. I grew up in Quadling Country, the southern region of the Land of Oz. It was just me and my sister, two wandering orphans, but it wasn՚t bad by any means. Oz is a fairy land, full of magic and wonder, and the people who inhabit it are for the most part decent and kind. As children, we heard and read many stories about Zixi, the Witch Queen of Ix, and she became like an idol to us. So much so that we both resolved to become witches ourselves. At the time, Quadling Country was ruled by a beautiful sorceress named Princess Gayelette, and after several failed attempts we eventually convinced her to take us on as her apprentices.

Hastur: I grew up aeons ago, in the frozen wastes of Kadath. *sighs* I remember it fondly. My home was a simply magnificent onyx castle perched atop a mountain range, overlooking tens of thousands of subjects encased in ice, trapped in perpetual torment. You wouldn՚t think that people who were frozen solid could scream, but you՚d be wrong! I used to hang myself from one of the balconies and listen to that enchanting choir of anguish for hours every day. Good times.

Cuttenclip: Err … moving on. Did you have any favourite toys as a child? Any cherished memories?

Glinda: Lord Librasulus Tiddlywinks III. He was a stuffed white rabbit with a red waistcoat and a monocle, given to me by a fairy. I loved that rabbit. One day while we were travelling through Munchkin Country, I lost him to the man-eating plants that grow there. I was still just a child at the time, so I didn՚t know that you could pacify the plants by singing or whistling to them. So there I was, bawling my eyes out over having lost my rabbit, and what does my sister do? She lets herself get eaten by the same plant, then cuts her way out of it from the inside. Out she pops a minute later, completely caked in sticky plant goop, Lord Tiddlywinks in hand, and I hugged her so fiercely I knocked us both off our feet.

Cuttenclip: Aww, that՚s sweet. *clears throat* Hastur?

Hastur: When I was only a few thousand years old – still a toddler, basically – I destroyed a Yithian city and took one of their lightning guns as a souvenir. Afterwards I decided to pay a visit to my brother in R՚lyeh and show him my new toy. Perhaps you can see where this going?

Cuttenclip: Umm, no…?

Hastur: Oh, well, R՚lyeh is an underwater city. Water conducts electricity. *chuckles* So anyway, there I was, shooting everything in sight with my Yithian Lightning Cannon, everyone is screeching in pain and terror, and did you know that lightning can make music? I think humans call it a thoramin, or a zeusaphone, one of those Tesla Coil machines. *laughing* So all through the chaos and … and the screaming, my lightning gun is literally singing! Bweee-wooo! I … I like to think of it as my Melody of Mayhem. *wipes away imaginary tear* I guess you just had to be there.

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