The Protagonist Speaks

Dear readers, tonight with us is a Detective Senior Constable, who had been described as handsome, kind, hard-working and diligent — and as thick as two planks. He hails from Victoria, Australia.

Tell us a little about where you grew up. What was it like there?

Me mum and dad are farmers, so yeah, I grew up on the farm. It’s a dairy farm, just outside Shepparton.

Did you have any favourite toys as a child? Any cherished memories?

Aw, gees, cherished memories. So hard to pick one, mate. I’ve been that lucky, ya know? One of the best moments in my life has to have been when I brought home my little mate, Tom. And when I met Tammy. We’re living together now. And hauling that sleazy Don Blackman off to the nick, that was pretty prime. So many great moments, though, I’m a lucky man, that’s for sure.

What do you do now?

Always wanted to be a cop, long as I can remember. And I am. So yeah, living the dream. Although, after the Trash Bandit business, the sarge isn’t so happy with me. Not sure how that’s gonna play out, but yeah.

What can you tell us about your latest adventure?

Well I had this string of burglaries, right? Same MO it looked like, but what was weird about these ones was they only took junk. And even more weirdly, the victims weren’t too unhappy. It turned out okay, but like I said, Sergeant Donoghue isn’t that rapt with me right now.