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The Protagonist Speaks

Interviews with the characters of your favourite books

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Rudi (of Legend of Elberkhan, by Yuxiao Chen)

Dear readers, tonight with us is an elderly tree elf recounting an adventure from his youth. He’s here to tell us about befriending a human, and their adventures that followed.

Can you tell the readers a bit about yourself?

Oh hi, I’m Rudi, I’m a tree elf, and I’m the author of Legend of Elberkhan. Yes, yes, I know you thought it was written by Yuxiao, but tell me, if it weren’t for me, how would she know the story? I was there. It was a long time ago, but I was THERE!

I am 777 years old. Now don’t look so shocked, that’s just rude! Ok, fine, I am pretty old, even for a tree elf. I still have my charm though, ahem… Anyway, as I grow older, I’ve been thinking more and more about the adventures from my younger years, of which one particularly stood out.

The story happened when I was 112, when I first met Aary. I remember every detail of it, as if it all happened yesterday. I was just a boy back then, like him… What are you laughing at! I was!

Apologies (putting on a straight face), so how did you two meet? I know it’s explained in the book, but can you briefly talk about it, without giving away too many details, for those who haven’t read the book yet?

Sure. I was just elfing around in the woods, you know, catching rabbits and other delicious treats. It was near my home tree hole, somewhere on the side slope of the Soulkeeper Mountain. Actually, it was not very far from the Castle of Elberkhan, but far enough away from the dangerous humans, or at least I thought it was. Well, not that I thought that all humans were dangerous. After all, my father was a human. But I always knew that some of them loved violence, they fought each other to obtain and keep things that they didn’t really need…

Sorry I’ve gotten a bit carried away now, haven’t I? Where was I? Yes, I was elfing around in the woods, minding my own business, and that boy snuck up on me! Caught me by surprise! He made me lose a very fat rabbit, I still haven’t forgiven him for that. I was scared out of my wits. I really thought he was going to eat me!

And what did you think about Aary when you first got to know him?

Well, he was kind, and brave, pretty eccentric, but nonetheless a good kid. Who can blame him for being a bit… strange, really, with all the terrible things he’d been through and all the suffering he had to endure almost constantly, all at such a young age. I don’t want to sound old, like I said I was just a boy myself, but I did have almost a hundred years on him.

Almost from the start I felt that he was hiding something from me, or maybe he was even hiding it from himself. I didn’t want to push him too much, you know, but personally I don’t believe that holding secrets is good for anyone.

Tell us a bit about the story of your book. Again, without spoiling it for the readers who haven’t read it.

Well, when I look back on my 777 years of life, that year was easily the most exciting one. Meeting Aary completely changed my life – from an ordinary tree elf whose only concern was the next meal, to what I am now, a well-respected advisor and the author of a book!

It was lifechanging for him too, meeting the most important girl in his life, having scary encounters with fearsome beasts that almost cost him his life, and discovering all those secrets about himself and the king… Oh, not to mention the big war at the end of the year. Phew, I’ve never seen anything like that before or since! Oops, am I giving too much away? Sorry! I got carried away again!

Continue reading “Rudi (of Legend of Elberkhan, by Yuxiao Chen)” →
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Squee (of Beast Be Gone, by A.L. Billington)

Dear readers, tonight we were scheduled to interview the owner of a renowned pest-control service, who helps citizens deal with creatures in their basements, undead haunting their castles, and infestations of goblins and other annoyances (all at better rates and kinder service than rampaging adventurers). Well, we were aiming to — but someone else showed up!

Hello, nice to meet you Eric. You’re a little… shorter than I expected.

Oh, sorry. I’m not Eric. He, um couldn’t make it. There was an emergency. Some oozes have infested a school, and the headmaster needed them out before the human children got back from their holidays.

Right, I see. And who are you?

I’m Squee, Eric’s Apprentice. Nice to meet you.

Are you a…?

A goblin. Yes. Sorry about that.

Please don’t apologise. I’ve just never met a goblin before.

Oh really? That’s odd because there are an awful lot of us. I suppose you don’t go into caves or hire many lawyers?

Not especially, no.

That’ll be it, then. Although goblins can be pretty evil, watch out if you see one holding something pointy. 

Noted. So you work for Eric at Beast Be Gone, Pest Control?

Yes! He’s been my master for a few months now. And let me tell you, he’s the best so far – Master that is. I’ve had more evil masters than I’ve had hot dinners. At least six.

How did you get involved with so many evil masters?

It’s the only real career path for goblins. That’s what my brood mother always said, anyway. You get a roof over your head, free grub, and you get to make a difference. 

Brood mother… where did you grow up, exactly?

All goblins get birthed in a swamp, of course. On account of the dampness.

I see. What was it like there?

Damp.

Did you have any favourite toys as a child? Any cherished memories?

I do miss my brood mother’s rat pie, but besides that, I was glad to leave. Although my skin has been dry ever since. Maybe I’ll go back one day, if Eric will let me.

What can you tell us about your latest adventure with Eric?

Where do I begin? We recently defeated The Dark Master, who had taken over the continent. I’m not 100% how he did it… Eric said something about economics? Anyway, everyone was suddenly an adventurer and there were no farmers or shopkeepers or anything left. So The King got Eric to find out what was going on. Pest control wasn’t doing so well either. All those adventurers cleared the dungeons, so he had no work left. Adventurers make a big mess, you see. Pest control is clean and humane. Adventurers just murder and blow things up. Although we did have to do that to a dragon…

Continue reading “Squee (of Beast Be Gone, by A.L. Billington)” →
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Penric & Desdemona (of their eponymous series, by Lois McMaster Bujold)

Dear readers, tonight with us is a learned temple divine and sorcerer — and the chaos demon he possesses. They are here to tell us about their complex relationship, as Penric navigates a world — and an occupation — he wasn’t prepared for, and Desdemona tries to keep him alive.

Tell us a little about where you grew up. What was it like there?

Penric: I was born seventh child of my family at Jurald Court, in the valley of the Greenwell in the Cantons.  My father was the baron there.  Someone once offended me by calling my home a fortified farmhouse, but, really… he wasn’t wrong.  Looking back, it was a rather idyllic childhood, running all over the mountains, learning to ride and hunt with a bow or traplines, haying in the summer—everyone turned out for that, from the lord on down.  Butchering livestock in the fall, which proved oddly useful later when I came to teach human anatomy to the Mother goddess’s medical students in Martensbridge. And, ah, to certain tasks in support of Des.  Not many books at Jurald Court, though.

Des, as a chaos demon of the Bastard god, how would you even answer that question?  I mean… can you remember being born as an elemental?  Is it even being born?

Desdemona: [the sense of a snort—if you can call it that in a bodiless demon]:  Of course I don’t remember emerging from the Bastard’s hell.  It’s a place of chaos.  Neither memory nor any other kind of form can exist there in the roiling white boil.  I suppose my earliest memory is of being in—or being, hardly a difference at that stage—the wild mare in the peninsular mountains of Cedonia.  Her death, now, that I remember, and jumping to the lioness that killed and ate her.  Then the first human, brave Sugane the village woman, who speared the lioness and gave me my first human language to think in.  And a fear of heights.  Then nine more women after her.  All their childhoods are but borrowed memories.  Their deaths, though… in two centuries, I had twelve deaths, and no births.  Think on that, my sweet holy necromancer.

Pen: Oh, I do.  Or you do.  It’s getting harder to tell our thoughts apart, anymore.

Des: Welcome to my world.

What did you first think when you two met?

Pen:  I was bewildered.  Nineteen years old, riding to what I thought was going to be my betrothal.  I mean, I didn’t realize this dying old woman on the roadside I’d stopped to try to help was a Temple sorceress.  I’d never even met a sorcerer before.

Des:  We thought you were the best human in range to jump to—though there wasn’t much choice in the moment.  The least rigid mind, which mattered… well, you know how much it matters now.  Incandescent wits, trapped under the stone of your benighted rural life.  Also [the sense of a slight, embarrassed cough] by far the prettiest.

Pen: [Ignores this.  Though somewhat flattered by the “incandescent wits” bit.]

What do you do now?

Pen: As a youth, I certainly never expected to become a learned Temple divine, seminary trained.  Five times over, counting my own training after I contracted Des, and that of four Temple sorceresses who had her before me.  And three times trained for a physician, mine and two learned women likewise, though that… did not go well.

Des: [snorts, but charitably makes no comment.  Some wounds do not bear touching.]

Pen: The five new languages Des gifted me with from her prior humans have allowed me much comfortable work as a translator.  Beyond that, whatever tasks my Temple superiors or my secular authorities request.  Or my god, Fifth and White.  As a sworn servant to the god of mischance, I never know what distressed persons or problems may next be given into my hands.  “No Hands But Ours”, as the motto of my Order says.   

Des:  Me, I try to keep this fool alive.  He—and the Temple and the secular lords and most of all the god—don’t make it easy.

Continue reading “Penric & Desdemona (of their eponymous series, by Lois McMaster Bujold)” →
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Gabriel Martiniere (of The Martiniere Legacy, by Joyce Reynolds-Ward)

Dear readers, tonight with us is a man from the near future, talking about biotechnology and the multiverse.

Tell us a little about where you grew up. What was it like there?

Before my family died in a plane crash when I was twelve, I lived in Malibu, on the beach. We also spent a lot of time in Paris, France, at one of the major Family holdings, the Hôtel Martiniere, in the 1st arrondissement. When I was ten, I was sent to Northview Military Academy in Utah, and spent school years there. After my family died, I still spent part of my time away from school in Los Angeles, only in the house of the man I thought was my uncle but was really my biofather, Philip Martiniere. Philip’s house was in Beverly Hills and a very different setting from my family’s house. Otherwise, I was in Paris with my uncle Gerard, learning more about the Martiniere Group’s financial operations.

As a child I spent a lot of time outdoors. My parents would take my sister, my cousins, and I out to Anacapa Island where we would spend the day swimming and snorkeling. I played on the beach. When I was very young, I wanted to become a cliff diver.

In Paris, I prowled the city with my cousins. Doing what kids do, but we also spent a lot of time visiting museums and attending cultural activities.

Did you have any favourite toys as a child? Any cherished memories?

Growing up Martiniere had a lot of expectations, especially since I was born into the ranks of the high-level heirs and was being nurtured and cultivated for a leadership role in the family-held conglomerate, the Martiniere Group. I didn’t have any one favorite toy because I spent a lot of time playing with my cousins, whether in Paris or Los Angeles. And memories…ah, best not to go there. My teen years were nightmarish. One of my biggest regrets was that I was horrible to my little sister Louisa and my mother Angelica the last time I saw them alive.

I did have a collection of Marvel action figures and assorted drone and robot models. Who was my favorite Marvel character? Tony Stark, of course. In many ways, I’ve been emulating him, only through development of agricultural technology.

What do you do now?

I am currently the leader of the Martiniere Family and the Martiniere Group, known as The Martiniere. Essentially, that makes me the CEO of the Martiniere Group and, well…there are private Family structures where I serve in much the same role as I do within the Group. When I can, I work on agricultural nanobiobots with my beloved Ruby. My focus is more on microbial payloads, but Ruby and I do a lot of research together on Ruby’s Double R Ranch in Northeastern Oregon.

What can you tell us about your latest adventure?

I’ve discovered that my choices as an adult have gone very differently in other universes—in one universe, my family did not die in a plane crash when I was twelve and I learned that Philip was my father when I was sixteen. In every other universe I know about, that didn’t happen. However, I am engaged in a war against digital thought clones in nearly every universe, along with my brilliant, bold, beautiful wife Ruby. Most points of divergence happen as a result of when I tell Ruby who I really am, except for that one universe I mentioned.

Continue reading “Gabriel Martiniere (of The Martiniere Legacy, by Joyce Reynolds-Ward)” →
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Emperor Tiriyanin (of Tiriyanin’s Riddles, by Izabela Raittila)

Dear readers, tonight with us is Emperor Tiriyanin from the Gragiyan Empire, the ruler of an ancient land where humans live among gods, elves and other mythical beings. He’s here to tell us about his duties and the new woman in his life, his new mistress Ducissa Skaraila.

I’ve heard that Your Highness was born after the war with the northern kingdom of Misoa? Tell us a little was it like growing up at the imperial palace at that time?

Yes, I was born in the sixth year of my father’s reign, a year after he and King Arkon of Misoa signed the peace treaty, putting an end to a bloody war. Arkon married my aunt Princess Lorli as part of the peace agreement, and their union meant the start of friendship between our nations. I grew up at the palace in the capital city of Ifirium, in the province of Gragiya, the heartland of our empire. Though our nation was at peace, five years of fighting had wrecked our economy. Several of our major cities had sustained severe damage, some places were reduced to ruins. My father spent the rest of his reign establishing new trade deals with his brother-in-law and planning the reconstruction projects in each province with the High Council, with hopes of restoring our empire to its former glory.

Many of these projects consumed a lot of his time and I didn’t see much of him during the first few years of my life. I spent my early years at the imperial palace in Ifirium, where he entrusted a man named Ferision to be my advisor and mentor. His role was to oversee my education and training while my father focused on his duties. When not busy with my studies, sports and combat training, I would sit by my father’s side at official gatherings, listening to him address his court.

This was his way of preparing me for my role as Ifrey Prisis, a term for prince and heir to the throne in our language. I had a happy childhood with servants tending to my every need, a great mentor, a loving grandmother and parents. As I got older, my father would take me with him on tours across various parts of our continent. In addition to Gragiya, there are three provinces including the military region of Arhia, the mountains of Lavinium, which is only partially inhabited by our people. The tallest peaks near the volcano are home to the wild beasts and two Enai (elven) clans, the mountain and fire Enai, immortal servants of Lord Fiehri, the god of fire and volcanoes and his queen, the earth goddess Lady Lavinia. Beyond it lies the sparsely populated desert of Niralis, the only province I have yet to visit.

These trips made me realize just how vast our world is and the great responsibility that now rests on my shoulders as its leader.

Did Your Highness have any cherished memories as a child?

One of my favorite memories is listening to my father telling stories about his epic battles and adventures during the war with Misoa. I’m particularly fond of the one where he ended up stranded in the desolate desert province of Niralis. That’s where he met his desert rose, my mother Alya, a native Niralisian. Some aspects of Niralisian culture are still part of our daily life such as the tradition of drinking mint tea and eating latti after a meal.

What exactly is latti?

Latti is my favorite dessert, a pastry made of sesame, honey and cinnamon.

That sounds delicious.

Yes it is, though it’s not something you can have in large quantities.

Good to know. Moving on, tell us more about how Your Highness feels about your role as Emperor of the Gragiyan Empire? What’s the best thing about it?

Our fate lies in the hands of the gods. When Lord Makar, the god of death sent his ghastly shadow servants, the Morkrai for my father, I was proclaimed Ifresir (emperor in our tongue) and I swore to continue his legacy. Unlike my father, who spent the first part of his reign fighting a brutal war, thanks to his efforts I inherited the throne at a time of peace. Rebuilding our empire after the war was his life’s work. One of the best things about being Ifresir is that I have the opportunity to fulfill his dream and transform our nation into something magnificent. This is only my first year as Emperor and there’s a lot of work to be done. I have a team of architects ready to make my vision a reality and the High Council supports my ideas for the reforms.

Continue reading “Emperor Tiriyanin (of Tiriyanin’s Riddles, by Izabela Raittila)” →
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Kim Taylor (of Forbidden Road, by Reut Barak)

Dear readers, tonight with us is a modern witch who in her final year of college was sent to the distant past against her will. She is here to speak about love and betrayal, about living in a world of dangerous magic, dragons, and violent knights. And a bit about college romance and spaghetti.

Tell us a little about where you grew up. What was it like there?

It was in Reading, England—it will only be build centuries from now. I have only vague memories from the future. It’s much more crowded than here, in Kardoel. There’s a lot of rush, and people drive vehicles that don’t have horses. I’m not exactly sure how that works. You get in and it makes a lot of noise, you use a wheel to turn it. There’s a town I remember-much bigger than the ones here. They call it Oxford. Seth is there too. I remember him, but everything around him is blurry. He’s different than now. A lot less serious. He’s trying to tell me something about my comp…computer. I have no idea what that is.

After the time travel, I woke up here, in Morgan’s fairy tribe. Have you ever visited a fairy tribe? You haven’t, then you don’t know about the food! I guess since they’re all thousands of years old, they got a lot of practice. The simple things were the most impressive. Like their corn and berries bread. Morgan’s tribe would conjure a variation of the recipe that had bilberries. And serve it with a drink that combined flower extracts. We’d have it at breakfast, with the dawn. Right by the lake, under the mossy beech trees. We’d also have dinner there, and I’d listen to the fairies play. Except when there were drumming sessions. It was…let’s just say I had a lot of excuses ready to use in order to avoid it, and wax for my ears if I failed.

And you miss the tribe?

Not any more. They lied to me, about who I really am.

Is that why are you here in Kardoel?

Partly. I’m actually looking for someone. Perhaps you’ve met him? A mage named Merlin.

Why do you need to meet Merlin?

That’s for his ears alone. I have a message that I must deliver personally. Many lives depend on it. And it can’t fall into the wrong hands. Listen, you cannot under any circumstance tell anyone my real name, or Seth’s. We are Adelis and Caradoc now. You found out the truth—take it to your grave. I can’t imagine what will happen to us if we get discovered.

Continue reading “Kim Taylor (of Forbidden Road, by Reut Barak)” →
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Pawlina Katczynski, aka “Pawly” (of Werecats Emergent, by Mark Engels )

Dear readers, tonight with us is a young woman, scion of an ancient clan of werecats. She is here to tell us about the challenges of discovering your family’s dark secrets and battling lethal urges, while trying to finish high-school.

Tell us a little about where you grew up. What was it like there?

My brother Tommy and I lived in Norfolk, Virginia most of our time growing up. Our dad was a Navy SEAL, so we were your garden-variety Navy brats. Around major holidays while Dad was off on deployment, our mom would take us on a bus to D.C. and then a train to Chicago where our folks were both from. There we’d spend time together with our grandparents and aunts and uncles. At the time our extended family all lived together in the same building, so it was like a big family reunion whenever we’d show up. We’d been on ice skates from nearly the time we could walk, so we’d bring our hockey gear along and play pick-up games with the kids from a Chicago neighborhood league our aunt and uncle coached. The tricks we learned there made us high school hockey superstars back in Norfolk!

Did you have any favourite toys as a child? Any cherished memories?

Our great grandfather, a retired Coast Guard commandant, had bought a decommissioned light keeper’s cottage situated on a small, remote wooded island in Lake Michigan near Wisconsin’s Door Peninsula. He fixed it up for his family to use a summer cabin, and my brother and I continued that tradition for much of our summers. With our dad gone so much, Tommy and I spent far more time at the cabin every summer than we did in either Chicago or Norfolk. We’d wander around all day, every day, building forts and playing hide n’ seek and combing the beaches looking out for treasure washed up from centuries of shipwrecks.

What do you do now?

Tommy and I are both trying to finish out our senior year at a new high school. It’s been, well, a challenge…

What can you tell us about your latest adventure?

Let’s just say neither of us had any idea just what it meant to be Growing Up Werecat. Not until I first morphed last Halloween, the night before our big game at the invitationals last fall in Green Bay.

Continue reading “Pawlina Katczynski, aka “Pawly” (of Werecats Emergent, by Mark Engels )” →
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Reverend Evan Wycliff (of his eponymous mystery series, by Gerald Everett Jones)

Dear readers, tonight with us is a reverend with an astrophysics background, who keeps running into situations that require a sceptic’s investigative skills.

Tell us a little about where you grew up. What was it like there?

I spent my boyhood in farm country—Appleton City, Missouri. It’s flat land in the heart of the state, north of the hills and the sinuous-shaped bodies of water known as the Twin Dragons – Truman Lake and Lake of the Ozarks. These are Bible-believing folk. When I was young, the area was sleepy, mostly family farms. In the years since, corporate interests have bought up huge tracts of land, and farming on a small scale doesn’t pay. Employment is better in the south, where the lake supports jobs serving the tourist industry. Branson is Missouri’s version of Nashville.

Did you have any favourite toys as a child? Any cherished memories?

My fondest memory of my childhood is my friendship with Bob Taggart, a boy of my own age. We hunted and fished together. Our faithful companion was his dog Brownie, who was in fact a succession of mixed-breed mutts to which he gave the same name. He pranked me a lot, thinking himself clever. One time, he took me into the basement of his father’s pharmacy and dared me to open a jar of what looked like disgusting medical samples and take a bite. I did, then he admitted it was fruit preserves. It was Bob’s dead body I found in the first novel, Preacher Finds a Corpse.

What do you do now?

In my teens, I had intended to enter the ministry. I studied at Harvard Divinity, then dropped out when I learned too much about Christian church history. I then undertook astrophysics at MIT. No answers there, either. I returned to the farm and got part-time work as a credit investigator for the local auto dealership and also as an occasional guest preacher. I later became pastor of the Baptist church, and because I have a curious mind and investigative skills, people come to me with problems no one else has any interest in solving. Because I was also trained as a skeptical scientist, some people think I’m an agnostic.

What can you tell us about your latest adventure?

The fourth novel in the Preacher Evan Wycliff series is Preacher Stalls the Second Coming, released on March 5, 2024. A crazed scientist knocked on my door with a bizarre warning – the Deep State may be planning to fake the Second Coming of Christ with advanced virtual-reality technology. Meanwhile, a faith-healing evangelist was luring poor and homeless people to a religious retreat with promises of ample food, then exhorting them to prepare for the End Times by starving themselves to death. I couldn’t ignore these unbelievable stories when a young woman from my church disappeared inside the cult leader’s farm.

Continue reading “Reverend Evan Wycliff (of his eponymous mystery series, by Gerald Everett Jones)” →
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Gnochi Gleeman (of Gleeman’s Tales, by Matthew Travagline)

Dear readers, tonight we are sitting down in the darkest corner of a menagerie’s main tent. The man we’re speaking with is supposedly considered a world-class storyteller. His name is Gnochi Gleeman. We’re also accompanied by his young apprentice, a scribe named Boli, who is recording Gnochi’s answers, even though we record the interview. The boy is working off faint candlelight, and writes with sharp, neat scratches of his pen on the paper. Gnochi has made me promise to publish this interview a year and a day after we speak, so here we are.

Tell us a little about where you grew up. What was it like there?

I grew up in a small farmhouse about a half-day’s ride from [city name redacted] along the coast. I obviously can’t disclose too much more than that in order to protect the location of my family’s collection of old-world tomes and books. But it was a hardy, quiet upbringing. My folks didn’t get out to town too much beyond buying supplies, which means I didn’t see much of life outside our homestead until I had the first whiskers on my face.

Not that I’m complaining. There’s a very legitimate need for secrecy in our line of work. Constantly drilling and preparing, in case the luddites got wind of our stache, or the king’s men came knocking.

Did you have any favourite toys as a child? Any cherished memories?

Unfortunately, we did not have the luxury of recreation, even as children. I will say though, before you write my parents off completely as heartless monsters, that we did have a lifetime’s worth of books to keep us entertained. I have spent many moons of my life lost among the stacks, gently peeling back the covers on a book that has remained unopened, it’s story untold for thousands of years. The stories I can tell you…

What do you do now?

I can’t quite put “protector of forgotten knowledge” on my tax forms, so I am a bard by trade. An itinerant one. Which means during the warm seasons, it’s me and my horse shambling between any tavern or inn with a little warmth to spare, telling the stories of the past to people who can’t even fathom… Or at least, I was.

I’m actually trying (and failing) to be a retired bard. I’ve lived the better part of my life on the road, huddled up under tarps that barely keep the chill of rain out.

So… what brought you out of retirement?

My dear sister and niece were kidnapped. Unfortunately, I am being extorted by the bastards who took them, forced into a Herculean labor of near impossibility. But, what can I do? If I don’t comply, there’s no hope I’ll see my family again. And, before you ask, I cannot disclose what I need to do. If the wrong person were to see this interview, it could put my whole mission in jeopardy. Hell, even mentioning it to you may have sealed their fates. But, somehow, I doubt the people who kidnap others are cultured enough to be reading personality interviews. And, in a year, this will have wound its course.

Continue reading “Gnochi Gleeman (of Gleeman’s Tales, by Matthew Travagline)” →
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