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The Protagonist Speaks

Interviews with the characters of your favourite books

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November 2024

Glinda and Hastur (of Yellow King of Oz, by Casper Hedron)

Dear readers, tonight we reprint a school newsletter from the land of Oz, interviewing two of the main characters.

Hello dear readers, and welcome to another issue of Bullet Point, official newsletter for the Royal Military Academy of Oz! Today we have something very special lined up for you; an interview with Glinda the Good, and her former adversary, Hastur. Let՚s start with a round of introductions. I am Miss Cuttenclip, writer and publisher of Bullet Point.

Glinda: And I am Glinda, Good Witch of the South, Headmistress of the Royal Military Academy of Oz, and protagonist of Casper Hedron՚s Clockwise series. You may have also seen me in Frank Baum՚s Land of Oz series of books. He wrote fourteen of them. My name was even in the title of his last book. I՚d wager not many of you knew that.

Hastur: They՚re baby books. For babies. Don՚t read them.

Cuttenclip: Hastur, care to introduce yourself?

Hastur: Of course. I am Hastur, the King in Yellow, the Unspeakable, Magnum Innominandum, the Once and Future King of Oz. I՚m also the “antagonist” of the book Yellow King of Oz, and have appeared in adult horror novels by HP Lovecraft and RW Chambers. Not for babies.

Cuttenclip: Speaking of babies, why don՚t you both tell us a little about where you grew up?

Glinda: Certainly. I grew up in Quadling Country, the southern region of the Land of Oz. It was just me and my sister, two wandering orphans, but it wasn՚t bad by any means. Oz is a fairy land, full of magic and wonder, and the people who inhabit it are for the most part decent and kind. As children, we heard and read many stories about Zixi, the Witch Queen of Ix, and she became like an idol to us. So much so that we both resolved to become witches ourselves. At the time, Quadling Country was ruled by a beautiful sorceress named Princess Gayelette, and after several failed attempts we eventually convinced her to take us on as her apprentices.

Hastur: I grew up aeons ago, in the frozen wastes of Kadath. *sighs* I remember it fondly. My home was a simply magnificent onyx castle perched atop a mountain range, overlooking tens of thousands of subjects encased in ice, trapped in perpetual torment. You wouldn՚t think that people who were frozen solid could scream, but you՚d be wrong! I used to hang myself from one of the balconies and listen to that enchanting choir of anguish for hours every day. Good times.

Cuttenclip: Err … moving on. Did you have any favourite toys as a child? Any cherished memories?

Glinda: Lord Librasulus Tiddlywinks III. He was a stuffed white rabbit with a red waistcoat and a monocle, given to me by a fairy. I loved that rabbit. One day while we were travelling through Munchkin Country, I lost him to the man-eating plants that grow there. I was still just a child at the time, so I didn՚t know that you could pacify the plants by singing or whistling to them. So there I was, bawling my eyes out over having lost my rabbit, and what does my sister do? She lets herself get eaten by the same plant, then cuts her way out of it from the inside. Out she pops a minute later, completely caked in sticky plant goop, Lord Tiddlywinks in hand, and I hugged her so fiercely I knocked us both off our feet.

Cuttenclip: Aww, that՚s sweet. *clears throat* Hastur?

Hastur: When I was only a few thousand years old – still a toddler, basically – I destroyed a Yithian city and took one of their lightning guns as a souvenir. Afterwards I decided to pay a visit to my brother in R՚lyeh and show him my new toy. Perhaps you can see where this going?

Cuttenclip: Umm, no…?

Hastur: Oh, well, R՚lyeh is an underwater city. Water conducts electricity. *chuckles* So anyway, there I was, shooting everything in sight with my Yithian Lightning Cannon, everyone is screeching in pain and terror, and did you know that lightning can make music? I think humans call it a thoramin, or a zeusaphone, one of those Tesla Coil machines. *laughing* So all through the chaos and … and the screaming, my lightning gun is literally singing! Bweee-wooo! I … I like to think of it as my Melody of Mayhem. *wipes away imaginary tear* I guess you just had to be there.

Continue reading “Glinda and Hastur (of Yellow King of Oz, by Casper Hedron)” →
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Quinn Iremonger (of Cycled: Rebirth, by Alekz Wokal)

Dear readers, tonight with us is a man who hunts unlawful holders of soul shards — the mysterious crystals that each grant their holder a unique supernatural ability.

Tell us a little about where you grew up. What was it like there?

I’m from Overta Layartha, the busiest port on the east coast. You may have heard tales that hooligans, beggars, and thieves run the streets, and it’s true. I was one of them. My parents tried, but I was a rowdy kid. I wanted to be free, I craved the rush of street life. From stealing fruit from the market, to escaping the law. Pocketing coins from unsuspecting travelers and pilfering ships. There were many great times, but I eventually learned that life wasn’t for me. I could never bring myself to do the more heinous acts my crew did. Once that was sorted, I grew sick of the city, and all I dreamed about was leaving. Even considered asking the pirates whenever they docked if I could join their crew, but something always held me back. Like I wasn’t quite ready to leave. Then, one day, while sitting on a pier watching the vessels, a lovely lady sat with me and struck up a conversation. That’s when I knew why I hadn’t left yet. But that’s a story for another time.

Tell us what it means to be a trapper. What is it like?

We hunt unlawful shard holders, or as we like to call them, ushers. People who find a soul shard, and, instead of turning it in, use its powers as they please. Let’s say there’s a shard out there with the power to make appendages explode. Some random person finds it and decides to start popping people’s toes. Well, that’s where we come in. We go through rigorous training and develop special skills that allow us to hunt them. It takes years to master, but believe it or not, we can feel when a shard is nearby. We’ve also learned how to crack a shard from a distance, and if we can crack an usher’s shard before they do, they won’t get the power. Then, we go in and rough them up a bit. As for what it’s like being a trapper… A bit of a tricky one. Of course, you could say dangerous. Stressful. Often lonely. But where’s the fun in that? It’s exciting! Rewarding. Look, we’re catching the bad guys. Imagine you were the one who captured Aeryn the Maimer. Would feel pretty good, right? And you’d probably get lucky a time or two at your local tavern. Not that I would know anything about that, of course.

What can you tell us about your latest adventure?

Not much, I’m afraid. Not sure who all will be reading this. But what I can say is that I met Ember and Coen, and when I decided to travel with them, things got wild. Through them I’ve witnessed things I didn’t think possible. I’ve reunited with someone I thought long gone. We’ve fought side-by-side in battles where I was certain we would lose. But most of all, I’ve learned things that shook me to the core of who I am. Cryptic, I know. Let me just say this: I used to be a devout thaed. Not so much anymore.

Continue reading “Quinn Iremonger (of Cycled: Rebirth, by Alekz Wokal)” →
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Max (of Unfixed, by Amy L Sauder)

Dear readers, tonight with us is a young man, fascinated by historical circus wagons at the edge of town. He’s here to speak about claimed of an enchanted circus, abandoned mansions, and the blurring lines between villains and sidekicks.

Tell us a little about where you grew up. What was it like there? Any cherished memories?

That seems a bit nosy. I grew up same as everyone else, I suppose. And I cherish each memory. Why do you ask? What are you fishing for?  

At any rate, I don’t like talking about the past. The now is what matters, that and the future. The rest is in, well, the past. Let’s leave it there.

What do you do now?

I’m a private investigator, looking into the disappearance of the Circus of Strange Marvels and the night of the fire while doing simple upkeep at the abandoned Trencher mansion. My unfortunate roommate Fancy is no help, and the witnesses are unreliable and few.

What can you tell us about your latest adventure?

I’m sure you heard of it. The supposed hauntings, the claims of magic. Other than that, what else is there to say? The walls can’t talk and the people won’t. But sooner or later, something has gotta come out. And when it does I’ll be there, ready to jot it down.

What did you first think when you read about the night of the fire?

There’s so mystical an air around it that the only guesses are practically a fairy tale. Even the newspapers bought into the hype…what sort of journalist does that? And of course there’s no proof. Everyone loves a good story, but there’s a reasonable explanation underneath all the vanishing people and fresh corpses. In time, I’ll find it and watch the magic crumble.

Continue reading “Max (of Unfixed, by Amy L Sauder)” →
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Maru Hosokawa (of Ghost Train, by Natalie Jacobsen)

Dear readers, tonight with us is a Samurai’s daughter from the 19th century Meiji era. She is here to speak about encountering ghosts, mysteries, and a kitsune who offers her help in exchange for confronting a demon.

Tell us a little about where you grew up. What was it like there?

I live in the most beautiful city in the world: Kyoto. The homes, teahouses, and shops are all made of wood slats or bamboo and shine in the sunlight, and we have smooth stone streets. I love the willows that drape themselves over the creeks and alleys that are lit by red lanterns. However, lately, Emperor Meiji has taken away from the beauty with his western inventions. There are these ugly…electricity wires running across our sky, and train tracks cutting through our city now. I worry for our future.

Did you have any favourite toys as a child? Any cherished memories?

This is a wonderful question! It takes me back to more blissful days, when my mother was alive and my father was around – at least, when he wasn’t saving lives on duty as a samurai. He had a lot of tasks back then, and so many relied on him for help. But when he was home we would play Hanetsuki, usually under the shade of the trees away from the hot summer sun. We each had a paddle – if we had paints, we’d decorate them – and a small ball with feathers stuck in it, that we would toss between us.

With my friends at school, we sometimes ran with kites to see if we could catch the wind. I loved their bright colors. We’d paint them with figures from folklore or kabuki!

My favorite memories were enjoying each of the seasons in the mountain paths with my parents. We’d bring fruit or rice balls on our walks, and watch the sunset or pick flowers or leaves along the way. Sometimes we’d press them in mother’s poetry books – which I need to find…

What do you do now?

Frankly, I hate my job. I couldn’t ever tell my father though, or I know he would be hurt. I should be grateful for it – being an assistant in a teahouse to a prestigious geisha. Many would kill for a job like mine, with that kind of exposure to her high-level clientele and work with such an esteemed teahouse. But it is a nightmare to me. I know it’s temporary, while my father is rebuilding our wealth as a merchant, ever since being a samurai was outlawed. So we need to make money somehow! But I hate serving the men who get drunk and just want to play games or tell silly stories. They reek, and can be so rude to us. Adakichi, the geisha who runs my teahouse, is so effortlessly patient, but behind closed doors, I sometimes wonder if she is possessed by a demon… she can be so cruel, so easily.

Someday I’d love to do something else, but my destiny is likely to marry and support my family clan. I don’t know what that looks like yet. If only something could change around here, or someone could offer me a chance to do something else; I’d love to be able to help others like my father did for so many years as a samurai… I am a samurai daughter, after all.

What can you tell us about your latest adventure?

I was at one of my favorite festivals, dancing with my friends and enjoying the night of music – it was magic, if I may. But after the festival, I had the strangest encounter. The festival is popular for chasing away demons and yokai, and yet – after the festival – I met a fox. AND IT TALKED! But now stranger things are happening. Emperor Meiji is changing Kyoto every day, and my father hasn’t bene in touch at all since leaving me behind. So I am feeling lonelier than usual, and quite impatient. The fox found me at a strange time in my life, and now I can’t stop seeing…other yokai.

Continue reading “Maru Hosokawa (of Ghost Train, by Natalie Jacobsen)” →
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Anna of Cleves (of The Swan Maiden, by G. Lawrence)

Dear readers, tonight with us is a young noble woman, sent from her home in the Holy Roman Empire to be a wife to the English king. She’s here to speak about the women’s world at both courts, and what it’s like to be the fourth wife of a king who cast off his previous wives.

Tell us a little about where you grew up. What was it like there?

My homeland is known in England as Cleveland, but in truth it comprised two states of the Holy Roman Empire, Julich which were my mother’s lands and Cleves, which were my fathers. They were united by the marriage of my parents.  

Did you have any favourite toys as a child? Any cherished memories?

Many cherished memories. I grew up in the Frauenzimmer, the court of women, which in Cleves was kept separate from that of men, for the protection of the women. My mother, the Duchess Maria, presided over our court, teaching us many skills good for a woman to know, such as needlework, the art of cookery and medical skills. Until her marriage into Saxony, my sister Sybylla lived with us and we were close, most of the time. She did once throw a set of shears at my head, leaving a scar in my eyebrow, but she was contrite afterwards. Our younger sister, Amalia, also grew up with us there, a rebellious soul who loved to secretly write poetry and dreamt of becoming as Joan of Arc once was.

Although I loved my family, the Frauenzimmer was a restricted place to grow up, many rules and not a great deal of freedom. We were not prisoners, mistake me not, and we joined the main court from time to time for feasts and hunting, but our day-to-day life was sometimes dull.

All the same, given where I am now heading, I would accept a life of dullness over my present state of trepidation and fear.

What do you do now?

I am to be a bride, sent to marry the mad King of England, Henry VIII. The thought was that either Amalia or I would become his next Queen, he has had three already, and I did not want my sister sent to this much-married man. The English think we do not know how he cast off his first wife, executed his second, (many say she was innocent) and allowed his third to die of neglect, but we know. My brother, now my guardian and master, knows what kind of man he sends me to. But Cleves needs allies against the Emperor, and so, for the good of my people, I am sent to secure this alliance with the King by marriage. He is twice my age and has killed women he swore he loved as well as friends.

I do not want to marry him.

What can you tell us about your latest adventure?

My most recent adventure is to leave the only life I have known, in the sheltered world of the Frauenzimmer and be taken through my homeland into Imperial territory, through the Low Countries and thence into France so I may be taken to Calais and then to England and this unwanted marriage. For much of my life I have been shut away, and now I am exposed to the wide world! Also, it is the start of winter, and we are not making good time. The wagons get stuck, the roads are slick with mud, and we are crawling to England, where I am to be made Queen. I think God hears my terrified prayers and delays my arrival.

Continue reading “Anna of Cleves (of The Swan Maiden, by G. Lawrence)” →
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